Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Useless Guide - How to tie a bow

Introducing the new series - Useless Guide! In every issue of UG, the Useless Guide Mascot, Miss How-To-Keep-Warm-In-Singapore will teach you mundane stuff that promises to make your everyday life better!


UGM said, "Brrrr... It's cold in Singapore."



For this inaugural production, Miss UGM will teach you how to tie pretty bows! Firstly, you must know there are two kinds of bows:


The Wrong Kind



The Right Kind



Step 1:
Place left end over right end.


Step 2:
Pull left end under right end.


Step 3:
Flip left end over the knot made.


Step 4:
Gather right end in a loop. Peace sign is a must. Let your fingers have their 15 seconds of fame.


Step 5:
Put the right loop under the left end. Continue with peace sign so your fingers get 30 seconds of fame now.


Step 6:
Push part of left end under the right loop. Peace sign is now holding the right loop. 45 seconds of fame for your fingers.


Step 7:
Continue pushing left end under the right loop until it forms a loop. Peace-loving fingers have one minute of fame!


Completion:
You are now ready to make your life better with pretty bows.


Uses:
- Tying your shoelaces when you are 20 minutes late for work already. Since you are late, why not be later?
- Tying a bow around your head when you are studying for exams. You can write a 忍 in the middle of it. Gambate!
- Tying your partner to the bed.

Pretty bows improve your life!

8 comments:

Injenue said...

it's too complicated. i think easier to find someone who can tie it to tie for me =)

YellowPony said...

The funny thing is, I'm wearing a dress today that has a bow at the back. Tied with the wrong kind of bow. I feel ashamed. I have covered it up with a sweater.

Adrian said...

HAHAHAHAHA

ei|een said...

i like your bow. very pretty! you have inspired me to tie pretty bows from now on. no more ugly bunched up bows!

now my halter tops will look pretty even from the back, and i don't need to use my hair to hide the ugly bows anymore! yay! hahahahaha ;)

jllt said...

injenue: I'll email you my rates.

yellowpony: Shame on you! Learn from Miss UGM!

adrian: Want me to try my skills on you?

ei|een: Pretty bows rules! But I think you should tying a double knot before typing the bow. Wouldn't want any accidents, unless it's deliberate of course. (:

cheneille said...

i think not everyone can carry off bows well.... i myself can never expect to wear a bow and not get insults or sniggers.....

Hejin said...

Oh no. I don't think I can remember the steps leh, how? Haha. I bought a skirt that requires a bow, and I don't think I can wear it out before referring to your guide first. =D

jllt said...

cheneille: I think bow is quite enough, no need bows.

hejin: That's why must bookmark this post!