Confession

I have a declaration to make. It is not going to be pretty but it is something that has made me very sad and pimples has popped up on my face.

I am constipated.

That's right. I haven't moved my bowels for so many days that I cannot count them with one hand while the other hand continue typing. Shiting is very important to me. The reason why this blog is named "Crap & Such" is because I have been known in my circles of friends to be a fan of shiting. Their younger siblings even know me as "Da Bian Jie Jie (a.k.a Shit Sister). Crapping is so significant in our lives that the dear Mr. Sigmund Freud had posited that the anus is an erogenous zone when we are 1.5-3 years old.

The dashing Mr. Freud.

Some well-meaning friends recommended me several remedies but so far, it has not been shitcessful at all saved for a few farts (who needs to fart when you can blurp?!). I have tried:

Banana, kiwi, mango, strawberry

Milk and/or plus banana

Applying "Ru Yi" oil (that is supposed to help you break wind.)

Useless! Tomorrow, or rather, later today, I will go for my yoga class. Hope exercise will be the solution. If it is useful, I will probably share the move that does it.

Wish me luck and give me more suggestions to unconstipate myself so I can lead a normal, happy life once more.

I miss seeing my poopy. Please pray for me. I am very sad.

***Update: 3 June 2005: 5.10AM
Unconstipating mission has been accomplished. Thank you all for your suggestions. Over and out.