Thursday, April 21, 2005

Women do crazy things

"How can you girls balance on those things?” A guy friend once asked. Naturally he was referring to stilettos. On another occasion, the same friend (you can gather that he is quite clueless about female fashion) asked, “Hey Janice! Why do you have a towel wrapped around you?” He was pointing at her tube.

I guess his behavior is a clear demonstration of how guys can never fathom why girls do the things they do. I mean, who in their right minds would want to walk around with on 3” stilts?

This is closer to 4 inches by the way

Quite crazy right? Not only that, girls like to subject themselves to pain and torture. All in the name of beauty.

We allow sharp objects to get near our eyes just to remove minuscule hair:

Yes! We know it hurts like hell.

We tear during the process, but anything for perfect arches:

Tearing is 100% true. Verify with any virgin eyebrow pluckees.

But if this is for guys to notice us more, it is a useless attempt. After Sherry got her brows removed by 50%, she looked like another person to us girls. But when her mother asked her brother to guess what was different about her, he mumbled that she had a giant pimple on her nose. So guys, pay attention!!!

Then there is the whole bizarre act of putting glob of glop on our faces, sometimes white:

Alright, I'm a miser. The mask on my chin are leftover from my fingers.

Sometimes black:

This picture actually won me a contest!

Even though we know guys will not notice that blackheads have vanished from our noses. Who will sympathize with what we went through to remove those darned things? We have watery and blood-shot eyes from the glop molecules that got into our pretty peepers:

The drenched and red windows to my soul

Also on our lists is to experiment with things that can make us different from the rest of ‘em girls. There’s the whole arsenal of make-up and beauty products; then we sometimes burn our hair to make it curl like those Jappie kawaii girls local guys seem to love, and from time to time, we give colored contacts a go:

The contacts are grey, not red.

Often ending up with scarlet eyes.

Why oh why do girls do such outlandish things? Is it to attract guys? Or to gain admiration from fellow females? To get on the cover of magazines?

In newstands now!

Alas! All these are fruitless. Firstly, it has been proven that guys will not notice that you have eyeliner on today and not yesterday. Secondly, though the female of the species will notice your tiny changes (let’s face it girls, we are all bitches scrutinizing every other female on the streets), they rather die than to admit that you look nice (read: they look less nice). Thirdly, magazines look for celebrities, not virtual unknowns (Hey! I like that pun. Virtual unknowns, geddit???)

At the end of the day, girls do all these and whip out our digital cameras to practice narcissism because we are our biggest admirers.

15 comments:

Adrian said...

Not to worry babe. I admire you. :)

jllt said...

:D I don't worry. I was just looking at the things I do from another perspective. Haha. Out-of-body experience?

starstar said...

hehe, true, true!

jllt said...

Heh heh... Can see quite true. Surf around friendster and it's mostly girls who will take pictures of themselves by themselves.

Injenue said...

it's good to look good. "ai swee mai mia" never hear before meh?

starstar said...

A~, yay *prances ard, heh, this friggin proj is 40% i believe

jllt said...

injenue: Mai la. Wo3 yao4 huo2 xia4 qu4. ^-*

starstar: Heh heh. We have Brendon to thank for that. Tho' I did offer to help cos he has all his stage stuff, but he said no need. Doubt I can compile as well as he did anyway. Haha.

Agagooga said...

Sounds like you could add some entries to How Girls Waste Time!

jllt said...

Not a waste if appreciated mah. By myself also can. ^-*

CELLE said...

Very good post babe! I think it's so true.. we bitch about the next girl's eye brows and all.. the guys wont even have a clue...they're such lovable dodos.
So.. are we really dressing up for other girls?? So that they wont bitch so much?

Jennifer said...

Only too true. We are our biggest admirer.

cyberudang said...

*blink blink* go where buy those shoes??? i soooo want them...

jllt said...

Celle: Girls will bitch no matter what. They will die die find flaws with chio bu so can upgrade themselves.

jennifer: Heh heh... It does wonders for our esteem doesn't it? Dressing up and feeling pretty rules!

cyberudang: I think a lot of places have shoes like these. Try VNC or Walking Couture? Heh heh.. This pair costs $20+ only. ^-*

Anonymous said...

Hi,,,I am claui,,,I like your blogs ,,,they are so entertaining and funny,,,,,i think i used 3 hours reading all your things,,,,,nice to meet you ,,,hope to know you more,More power.....more,,,more more....i wanna know how you celebrate happy days,,,,,,and if there are tips on anything,,,,,it'll be great.

jllt said...

Thanks a lot Claui! :D