Women on women

You know sometimes how you sit in on one of those male conversations and the guys are comfortable enough to discuss in detail the merits of a certain girl, say X. In one of the rare occasions where all the guys agree that she’s the hottest thing around, they will turn to you, expecting you to be nodding your head. Well, very hesitantly, you give your opinion.

“I don’t think so.”

There will be an extremely loud cacophony of “how can”s, “have you seen her?”s, “you know who we're talking about?”s, “are you sure?”s and “did you check out her face/boobs/legs/hair/smile/eyes/butt?”s. And then, when the commotion dies down, one representative will exclaim:

“You must be sour grapes!”

In disbelief, you turn to the rest of the group and find identical “Ah ha! This must be it!” expressions on their faces.

“Yeah! Jealous of her issit?”
“Must be wan la!”
“You are just bitching!”
“Cannot stand people prettier than you hor!”
“Ok lah! You also pretty lah!”

You know what you have contributed is your honest opinion but to continue in this is suicide because you are outnumbered. It is not that you are so weak-minded that you are swayed by their argument. It is also not that you want acceptance from the guys. It is because you know, from experience, that there is NO WAY of making the guys see X in the same unflattering light as you. I guess it might be how guys feel when they know that their girlfriends/wives are rather on the plump side (yet you love them anyway, I know) and have been asked the question “Honey, do I look fat in these jeans?”

You feel the sweat drip down your face as you struggle for a quick comeback. Your palms grow clammy as you try to find a way to be truthful and yet not incite another round of what just occurred. She IS not pretty mah!/Your hinny is big darling, butIloveyouanyway. Seconds seem like an eternity and after swallowing hard, you only have two words for them.

“Ok lor…”

This is not you saying you have really conceded that X is pretty or that the love of your life does not have a butt that is not in-your-face (the way you like it actually); rather, it’s just about you wanting to avoid another series of what just transpired. Males tend to have this idea that women naturally cannot get along. While they are formulating this thought, they will conveniently overlook how your best friend is a fellow member of the gender or that you have a good working relationship with your female supervisor. Then you are simply classified as having one of those envious hissyfits for failing to appreciate that X’s legs are till there, her boobs are out there and her eyes are definitely on there.

Ah well. Must be because the blood is all somewhere there other than in their brains.