Tuesday, August 30, 2005

Help me help yourself

I take offence when opportunists target me. Do I look stupid? You can try to be opportunistic with me but don’t think I’ll let you take advantage of me.

I don’t think I am a particularly petty kind of person. To be honest, reciprocity is the way to get through to me. You be nice to me, I’ll be nice to you. Take me as someone who will help you without getting any mutual benefits in the long run is just treating me as a moron. I have no idea why some people find it so easy to ask for favors.

“Can you help me with this?” Seriously, I don’t mind that if I can help you and it’s on the way and not TOO inconvenient for me. At the same time, I also need to sense that you are not being a lazy ass. A few times lazy is fine but do not make me out to be your maid who runs your errands and not get paid (tangibly or intangibly) for it. I mean I help friends because I know they will do the same for me. I am not a saint who will just help and help some undeserving person and hope someday he/she will see that I am being a friend. “Do unto others what you want others to do unto you”? Yeah, that makes sense.

Reciprocity is also one of the factors suggested by social psychologists to get people to find you attractive. So if you have been treating those around you as servants to command about and are still single, you know why now.


R2D2 said...

"So if you have been treating those around you as servants to command about and are still single, you know why now."

Actually I think I know of someone who's like that. Though I really hope that I'm not the same.

Heavenly Sword said...

I have helped people in the past (who thanked me profusely at that time), but then when it came to my turn to need help, none was provided. Yes, you can even beg them, and they will still refuse. But begging has its limits - people have pride too.

It's actually quite easy to avoid helping a friend. Some of the tactics used on me include:

(1) simply ignoring emails (or even sms's)

(2) blatantly saying 'sorry I don't like the task that you need help with' (even if it's a simple one, and even if you've helped him with a task that you hated last time)

(3) saying 'sorry without money, I can't help you, unless you pay me' (someone blatantly said that to me recently, non-jokingly)

I guess not everybody in this world are nice. Some are simply jerks who will 'use a person and throw'. Yet, very often, these jerks seem to do pretty well in their careers too, precisely because they are double-headed snakes to suck up to important people.

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed a lot!