Monday, July 25, 2005

The power of tehing

Tehing, one of the most effective ways of getting what you want. What does it mean exactly? “Teh” is the verb for the act of talking and/or acting in a diabetes-inducing, saccharinely sweet way, usually to achieve an objective(s). Let’s look at the key terms in this definition.

Diabetes-inducing
Diabetes is an illness. So most people would, normally, not want to contact it. When the meaning of teh involves an ability to indirectly cause diabetes, the inference can be drawn that there are negative connotations associated with the action.

Saccharinely sweet
While sweet other normal circumstances means, well, sweet, with the word saccharinely preceding it, there is an overdose of sweetness.

Objective(s)
The power of tehing comes from its ability to achieve great results if used correctly and on the right person(s). Most people, notably females, teh for one or more purposes. The objectives may or may not be tangible. It ranges from something as innocent as getting a hug to some as devilish as looping the marriage noose over a man’s head.

So when exactly will tehing be useful? Before it can be used, I suggest doing the “tehability” test.

Tehability test
1. Approach victim who is eating/drinking..
2. Imagine self to possess a voice made of caramel, sugar, marshmallows, milk chocolate, candy and about 1 can of carbonated drink.
3. Using the voice, ask victim if you are pretty/handsome. For best effects, pout lips, clasp hands together at thigh level and move body from side to side (See Appendix I).
4. If victim pukes food/drink, immediately laugh like a hyena and tell him/her that it was a joke. Tehability test has failed and the power of tehing is lost on him/her.
5. If victim smiles obligingly and replies in the affirmative, continue reading this post to milk the most out of tehing.

Now that you have ascertain whether your chosen victim is susceptible to your tehly persuasion, know when you should and should not use its powers.

Do use it when:
- Victim is in a good mood
- You haven’t been using it for a while. Same rationale as throwing a hissy fit. It only works when sparingly used.
- The request is not too much, such as a hug or purchases under $5.

Do not use it when:
- Victim is driving or otherwise operating dangerous machinery
- Victim is too angry to listen
- In bed. Unless called for.
- You are near someone who has been known to fail the tehability test and has a violent deposition.

Good luck sweeties. Hope everyone has a tehful day.


Appendix I

3 comments:

Adrian said...

Nice post. :)

jllt said...

Thanks.

cheneille said...

hahaahaa sweet huh? i always tot tehing was more to whining........

"aiyerrrrrrrrrrrrr juliaaa i also wan go austwawia wif uuuuuuuuuuuuuu"