Experience Australia - Gold Coast, Clubbing & Tree Animals

Woooooo!!! Went to the Surfer's Paradise and failed to see kick-ass waves! Neither did I see any surfer hunks. But saw a beautiful beach with blue blue sky. Bikini-clad women are all over the place but standards... erm... varied.

So many people here in winter!

I think I can take some of the sand back and mix it into my housemate's flour. She won't know the difference. Until she eats it that is... Tee hee hee...

Surfer chick must be very disappointed with the lack of waves and hunks. I was.

It's always the time to force a guy to be my prop for an artistic pic!

Yes, I realised I'm overdressed for the beach but we will be there for all of 2 hours and heading back at night when it will be cold! Cold can die ok!

I was thinking about how Singapore wants to turn Sentosa into the Gold Coast of Asia. I think you will need a damn bloody lot of space to do it. But I think Sentosa is doing a great job so far. It can't be THAT easy to ship in that much sand to make those beaches. Though I doubt they can import waves. On the good side, Sentosa is better in the sense that there are toilets along the beaches while there is none on the Gold Coast (as far as I see anyway). I suppose this would mean that the sea is saltier in Gold Coast? :P

***

I don't know how we managed to summon up energy but we went clubbing at night. My first time clubbing in Australia and it was smashing baby! Ok, I'm gushing now, but there were alot alot alot of cuties. It never hurts to get some eye candy eh? The club should rename itself from Friday to Candies. Hahaha... I think the place turned me into a blonde too...

I look so wannabe here!!!

It also marred me for life ah! They are still using those ugly ink stamps! And gave me a mole bigger than Phua Chu Kang's!

Where's the UV chop baby! I felt like a cow being given a stamp of ownership. Moooooooo... By the way, milk is damn cheap here. 1 liter for A$1+.

In those days when I went to Boat Quay and they gave us those inked stamps, I used to think that they were collaborating with schools. This is how it would go:

Teacher: Bloody Hell! Stop yawning! You're disturbing my class!
Bloody Hell: No teacher! It wasn't me! I had a full night's sleep!
Teacher: Don't lie to me Bloody Hell! *stomps over to take Bloody Hell by the wrist* Ah ha! What's this I see! The clubbing mark!
Bloody Hell: Bloody hell...

So is this being done in Australia? Ok... I know I'm lame... Moving on now... Some of the locals were very friendly! When we were taking pictures, they offered to take for us and joined us as well. I think in Singapore, we get pissed at people taking photos in clubs and call them newbies. Heh heh...

So here's the "group" photo with half the group and some extra people we didn't know. (:

The drinks here are also supposed to be cheaper but not at the club I went to. I think it's slightly cheaper than Zouk. A$7.50 for Baileys? But they did not serve lychee martini. Lychee cost like gold here. $20 for 1kg? I cannot remember but I know it's sold under the exotic fruits section. There goes my dream of making R.S's milo dinosaur for sales here. Damn!

Of course it's not all a bed of roses. Sometimes, there will be people who pushed and shoved and kicked glass bottles towards us. Racist or not I do not know. I just know it was hilarious when a group of Caucasians tried to talk to us and when we didn't reply, they threw out all the Asian languages such as Japanese and Korean. So here we are, all Asians with nary a difference between distinct nationalities. Categorizations are such headaches, aren't they? (:

***

More excitement awaited us the next day. Armed with my digital camera and a very fair* housemate, we went to get chips from the school's vending machine. On the way back, we saw this little friend...

Can spot it anot? On the right there!!! Must be doing exercise with such a pose.

Yes! It's an animal! We have no idea what it was and finally decided that it was more likely to be a possum than a squirrel. It was so cute!

It was so tiny and out alone braving the cold winter air! Little soldier! Right... It was probably laughing at me who was swarmed from top to toe with woollen clothes. x_x

I think it was probably not used to two giggling girls taking pictures of it because it kept turning towards the flash. Perhaps trying to figure out why the lightning was so close tonight?

Here's a close-up. Please drop me a coment if you know what it is. No need to tell me its a furry mammal that's commonly found on trees in Australia. Thanks!

So after 30 minutes of shooting and almost blinding the poor fellow, we were on our way and guess what! We saw more!

Two of them! Maybe they are very common here, just that we were suaku. But I don't care! I is excited!

I think this is a different animal but whatever it was, it was like the first and enjoyed posing for my camera. Though it had serious red eye problems. Tut tut...

It dawned upon me that they were perhaps seeking treatment at the nearby vet clinic. Haha... Maybe I'll see a kangeroo or a crocodile next time. Hmmmm... Ok... Scaly reptiles can be on their way without any disturbances from me nor my camera.

*Being fair is an advantage for traveling at night because some drivers do not on their headlights and streetlights are few and far between in most places. So my glowing housemate doubled up as a torch in the dark! Heh heh...

Death of the dialects

I think it is quite sad when I see how many Singaporeans do not understand their dialects. A large part of this may stem from broadcasting censorship. I fondly recall the days when we had TV2 and could watch Cantonese movies and dramas. Nowadays, if you do not get the programs from cable, you are hardly able to find dialect spoken on television. At most, you have an elderly muttering one or two phrases in locally produced serials meant to tug on your heartstrings. Or maybe those dialect-based operas shown periodically on Arts Central.

While I am not a polyglot of dialects, I do understand some of my parents' utterances. I have friends who cannot differentiate their dialects from other dialects because they are simply not exposed to it. Maybe the "Speak Mandarin" and "Speak Good English" campaigns are successful in the sense of getting more people to use these two languages, but at what cost? In the past, if you cannot speak your dialect, some people may even say you "bo ka si" (without proper upbringing in hokkien). Nowadays, the dialects that help us identify our ancestral roots are all but lost on later generations.

I feel there is something heartwarming when I see how kids can converse with their grandparents fluently in dialects. My late granny used to howl at how I pronounced my Cantonese but I did try after all. And I was happy when she laughed.

Beautiful place to study?

I am currently at one of Australia's most beautiful universities (according to its website anyway). The campus is especially charming at night where you can sport couples making out (it is not because of this that I consider it charming) and strolling along in the cold winter night.

Part of the great court

Great court is bathed in romantic orange glow when night falls

Even the Staff House in the background is pretty

And the campus has 3 lakes that are simply spectacular in the evening

Where ducks swim around undisturbed by the public (most of the times)

See how there is careful garden landscaping to enhance the overall beauty of the campus

With places where you can enjoy the bright blue sky with its fluffy white clouds that look almost edible

Where the Art Museum has picturesque (though not night-mode-compatible as seen in the poor quality of this photo) water features that makes a joy to visit at night, perhaps a world apart from the University Cultural Center in NUS that has been criticised as having too "cold" an architecture

Here I am thinking about the next poop I should crap on my blog at the faculty of Business, Economics and Law (BEL) and I managed to excrete a Nokia 7620

After looking at all the scenic photos, I asked myself this question: Does studying at a beautiful campus make any difference? Sure, I might have more venues to take pictures and if I am a poet, I might be inspired by the aesthetically pleasing qualities of the university. However, would its beauty be of significance to most students?

This brought to mind a complaint I once heard. Why are the schools in Singapore so excessively designed? By excessive, it is meant that there are many features in the schools that are not there for functionality. These include structures such as canopy over the roof (so it's not there for shelter) and glass walls. So who's paying for all the renovations? No one wants to study in an ugly school but doesn't having designer schools at the primary level sound a tad extravagant to you? Do you think children at that age would appreciate the garden sculptures or the water features located at different parts of the school? I would think that the taste of the food in the canteen would be of more import.

Back to the point of having an attractive campus. If you look into the lecture theatres and tutorial/seminar rooms of even the most beautiful university, I think you would be hard-pressed to differentiate it from another university. It is because the basic features would be the same. The tables, chairs, carpeting, lightings and room temperature would all be similar and I think even the most amazing architecture and design would not move a student to study if he/she is simply not into it. Being business enterprises, I think having more beautiful campuses would only increase the normative pressure on other universities to keep up.

When you're bored...

You take artistic shots in the public toilet and hope no one comes in and catches you!

How many "me" do you see? Yes my friends, this is a philosophical question.

Something that's on my mind...

I have been thinking about this for a very long time now...
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大便很爽喔!!!

From my reader, giraffes, as my birthday present!

Poll for guys

What do guys see first when looking at a girl?
a) Face (overall)
b) Eyes
c) Smile
d) Figure (overall)
e) Boobs
f) Buns
g) Legs
h) Feet

Time

Wonder which of these is going to happen
- Time heals all wounds
- Absence makes the heart grows fonder
- Withstand the test of time

Ahh... Too early in the morning to have such thoughts... Tut tut...

Wrongful day

Some days you just wake up with the feeling that it is going to be a bad day. And guess what? Everything does go wrong. Hai...

Wouldn't it be nice to be a child once again? Only food, cartoons and sleep on your mind.

I have to change my face from

to

Check out what 旺仔 is looking at

Still food for kids?

轰轰烈烈的爱? Not!

After a quick survey, I realized most of my girlfriend’s mothers give them the same advice when they first get attached.

“Do not put your whole heart into it.”

When I asked my mother why she would say such a thing, her reply was this:

“I will be the one who has to pick up pieces of you when it’s over.”

And this was what my friend’s mothers told them too. I think the idea of 轰轰烈烈爱一场 is not very popular among the older generation. It seems quite torturous to me to have to withhold your love for someone. How much of it do you keep back? 10%? 20%? And how do you go about keeping it back? Hmm… Is this why girls are more proned to throwing tantrums? Because it is our way of not giving our all? Nah, I think it’s still the PMS at work. :P

On the other hand, this advice makes sense. It allows you some (imagined) control over things. And it’s also good for the other party such that you do not smother him with so much love such that you become a drag. Hate is the flipped side of love. So it’s safer for him too if you guys should break up.

But someday in my life, I think it would be great to look back and see that I have 轰轰烈烈的爱过. Hahaha… Humans are such contradictory creatures. Maybe my friend’s idea is better: if you like him, just like him.

Ahhh… Sweet, simple and suicidal.

Define your happiness!

Was reading injenue's post about happiness. So let's tell the bloke what gives you happy vibes! Here's my contribution!

Happiness is
- the hot shower after getting caught in the rain
- taking a nice photo especially one of yourself
- having people you love love you back
- laughing at people who just fell a funny fall
- when the day you have been expecting turns out as planned
- when you tell yourself you are happy
- crapping with your friends at the favourite coffee/alcohol joint
- having undivided attention from someone who matters
- when you are a daughter of my parents and a sister of my brothers
- when the expensive shits you have been eyeing is marked down 100%
- having someone praise your cooking which you are secretly very proud of
- getting lots of comments on your blog about how you rawk
- you go abit crazy around your friends and they laugh with you, not at you
- you snuggled in bed with a special someone on a cold, rainy day
- food arrives immediately after you ordered it because you are about to faint from hunger
- when your boogeeing song comes on just as you think clubbing has lost appeal
- holding someone or something your cherish in your arms
- drinking milo dinosaur from R.K eating house
- you see something so beautiful that time stops (my reflection? hahaha)
- feeling the kindness and warmth of strangers when you are lost
- enjoying the simple pleasures of life such as peeling your nails, popping the zit (and to hell with scarring), smiling at happy memories, getting into an air-con room when the sun is really getting to you, being around the one...

Teeheehee... teeheehee...

You can actually feel happier after writing it! Alright! I live a deprived life... +_+

Plunging readership

I'm afraid I'm losing my crappiness. Nooooooooooooooooooo!!! No one reads my blog regularly anymore. Except me! Hahaha... I have to go out and start observing things. So to salvage my plummeting readership, I went out with the purpose to noting interesting stuff in Australia and here they are:

- The skies turn dark at 5pm.
- The average student dressing can put any NUS Arts undergrad to shame.
- They like to sleep on the grass in the middle of nowhere.
- They start drinking at 7pm. Probably still trying to forget school has started.
- The crows make sounds that are very much like those cats make when mating.
- Dogs like to bark just when you are about to fall asleep.
- They start work at 5am. At least the construction site near my place have such hardworking employees.
- Stand further from them when you are talking so you can look them in the eyes. Most of them are taller than you. This won't be necessary if you talk in bed. Tee hee hee...
- They like to jog in winter. I wonder if their sweat freezes on their skin.
- They are into this show called Big Brother. Most foreigners do not get its appeal however because it is about throwing people into a house and using a "Big Brother" to ask them perform tasks. ("Most" is according to the 4 I've asked.)

And lastly, the weather here is so dry that it makes your skin crack.

Click to see the full horror.

Poll

What happens after your death?
1) You go to heaven.
2) You go to hell.
3) There's no more you.
4) You become another being.
5) Shh! It's not good to talk about death. (Wuss!)

Sleepless in Australia... Again...

Isn't it sad how sometimes you can't sleep because something is on your mind? The more you try to get rid of it, the more obstinately it will remain. Kind of like having chewing gum on your clothes (though we all pretty much forgot what that feels like). You try to get it off, it just stick on fast.

Sweet sleep, please beckon to me... I think I will be taken to the Singapore Zoological Gardens as a new breed of panda when I head home...

The power of tehing

Tehing, one of the most effective ways of getting what you want. What does it mean exactly? “Teh” is the verb for the act of talking and/or acting in a diabetes-inducing, saccharinely sweet way, usually to achieve an objective(s). Let’s look at the key terms in this definition.

Diabetes-inducing
Diabetes is an illness. So most people would, normally, not want to contact it. When the meaning of teh involves an ability to indirectly cause diabetes, the inference can be drawn that there are negative connotations associated with the action.

Saccharinely sweet
While sweet other normal circumstances means, well, sweet, with the word saccharinely preceding it, there is an overdose of sweetness.

Objective(s)
The power of tehing comes from its ability to achieve great results if used correctly and on the right person(s). Most people, notably females, teh for one or more purposes. The objectives may or may not be tangible. It ranges from something as innocent as getting a hug to some as devilish as looping the marriage noose over a man’s head.

So when exactly will tehing be useful? Before it can be used, I suggest doing the “tehability” test.

Tehability test
1. Approach victim who is eating/drinking..
2. Imagine self to possess a voice made of caramel, sugar, marshmallows, milk chocolate, candy and about 1 can of carbonated drink.
3. Using the voice, ask victim if you are pretty/handsome. For best effects, pout lips, clasp hands together at thigh level and move body from side to side (See Appendix I).
4. If victim pukes food/drink, immediately laugh like a hyena and tell him/her that it was a joke. Tehability test has failed and the power of tehing is lost on him/her.
5. If victim smiles obligingly and replies in the affirmative, continue reading this post to milk the most out of tehing.

Now that you have ascertain whether your chosen victim is susceptible to your tehly persuasion, know when you should and should not use its powers.

Do use it when:
- Victim is in a good mood
- You haven’t been using it for a while. Same rationale as throwing a hissy fit. It only works when sparingly used.
- The request is not too much, such as a hug or purchases under $5.

Do not use it when:
- Victim is driving or otherwise operating dangerous machinery
- Victim is too angry to listen
- In bed. Unless called for.
- You are near someone who has been known to fail the tehability test and has a violent deposition.

Good luck sweeties. Hope everyone has a tehful day.

Appendix I

Ramblings about love and marriage

Sometimes I wonder what will happen to me 5 years down the road. In Singapore, it seems like the majority follows the life course. From 1-4, you grow up. From 5-6, you attend kindergarten. From 7-12, you’re waiting to sit for your PSLE. From 13-17, secondary education beckons. From 18 onwards, you go into some higher learning institution or start working. Subsequently you work/study until you hit you mid-20s. Then what?

Someone once told me that the best time to find a partner is when you are in your tertiary education because once you start your working life, you do not get the chance to mingle much with people romantically speaking. I have no idea how true that is and I think there is no point in finding someone now for that just-in-case scenario in the future. I don't know where this post is going but I was just thinking about how the society views a woman that has yet to marry by the time she hits the big 3-0 (or maybe 4-0 according to statistics nowadays). More interestingly, how would the woman feel? Would she do an Ally McBeal and try to get hitched? Would she be a romantic and wait for the right guy to come along?

Who is the right guy anyway? How do you know he’s the one? Do you JUST know? Would you someday be wondering whether he is indeed the true love? Is there true love? Another point is whether you have to get married if you found someone you truly love. What does marriage really mean anyway? That you are legally bounded by marital vows and then what? That the woman gets a slice of the man’s possession if the divorce judge says so? In that case, wouldn’t it be a legality that is only beneficial for the woman? And the man is really tightening the noose around his neck? I have a friend who said she would prefer to cohabit with someone she likes and rear a few dogs because kids are too noisy and there is no sense in getting married. And we always say we would be her bridesmaids first.

However, a sociology lecturer once revealed that local males become healthier after marriage. So getting hitched may not be that bad a noose after all.

The salad that is not the healtiest for you

Click to see the ingredients. Looks great, tastes delicious, fattens you!

Suckers for crap...

After listening to some of my girlfriends’ love stories, I realized most girls are suckers for guys who treat them badly. While this is not a discovery worthy of a Nobel Prize, it is nevertheless a perplexing issue that should merit some discussion.

See, some girls are programmed to think that if they give their all, he would some day fall for her. To the female psyche, there might be something wrong with how she looks or the weight on her. Feeling insecured about one’s look is more of a woman’s domain than a man’s. So if she can make herself look better, she might be about the snag the bad boy on the block.

On the other hand, wanting the meanie may also be a part of human nature: we crave challenges. Just like how some guy friends told me they are intrigued by women they cannot have, some women are likewise fascinated by the man who is just out of their manicured grasps. So, sometimes girls fall harder for guys who treat them like crap while nice guys are only there to stroke their egos.

I have also heard some guys complain about how their girlfriends want to change them. Maybe it is inherent in women to take in something that is beyond repair and try to get it back on the mend. Maternal instincts? Lead the poor, angry, mistaken man onto the path of light. Right… dream on…

When you cannot get that baddie, get a pair of shoes girlfriend. There are a number of attributes in doing this:
- Shoes look good on you while the mean guy makes you look and feel bad
- You can ditch shoes easier than you can ditch men
- Footwear can be tried on for size before purchase. As for guys, well… the trying should come at a later part right? And it might be too late to bail if the size doesn’t fit…

Remember, we are mostly coded to want things we cannot have. So if the baddie treats you like dirt and you still want to dig your own grave, play hard to get and beat him at his own game.

Things I miss

Don’t know what you got till it’s gone. I think this is part of human nature; to always take things for granted. After coming to Australia, I think there are quite a number of things I yearn for.

- People
This should come first in case people say I am a cold-blooded creature. Tee hee hee… I miss my family, friends and that special someone. Mama’s cooking IS the best and daddy’s naggings are good for me. Even my brothers’ arguments will sound like sweet music after the deafening silence here. I have yet to find shopping kakis (not that there is much to shop around here; their biggest shopping mall is smaller than Taka) so those back in Singapore are sorely missed! And I want to speak in Mandarin! Someone please come speak Mandarin to me!

- Places
Firstly, I long for my bed and all the accessories that go with it. I think Australians will be less prone to being bow-legged because they do not sell bolster here. I want my bolbol! I miss a room where the books are stacked full on one table and the laptop on 24 hours on the other; where there are many personalities that speak to me when I’m bored. Heh heh…

- Food
Strangely, I have only eaten one meal of chips. Maybe it is because I have been putting off eating out. Soon I will get sick of my own cooking and be forced to get take-aways. But there are not many places with great chili here. Think about it, in Singapore we have different chili for almost every kind of food. Sambal for stingray, the sour kind for chicken rice, the dark red one for roasted duck and padi for mixing in soups. Here, chili come in bottles called chili sauce. Urgh…

- Humid, hot air
Some people said the weather in Australia is good because it is so cooling. They also forgot to mention that it is dry and gives you lots of booger. Another drawback is that you cannot adjust the temperature. Whereas in Singapore, if we are feeling warm, we can head out to the nearest mall and enjoy the cool comforts of the air-conditioner. Here you just turn up the heater and hope that you won’t die from drinking water that condenses at room temperature.

- Ugly ixora and frangipani
I don’t see many tropical flowers around here. Probably because the rainfall is way below that of Singapore’s. All I see are wild flowers in their vibrant shades. Such as these:

Please give me back the dull colors of flowers in Singapore.

- “Normal” vegetables
Other than purple broccoli, they also have vegetables that look spoilt here.

Not only are their appearances weird, they seemed to be made of gold too! Shallots cost A$12/kg while locally grown Pak Choi is up to A$1.50 for a bunch of four. I hope I don’t choke while eating them…

Entertaining yourself

When your friends are not free, your family members are all out and no strangers even take a look at you, you know you have come to a day of self-entertainment. It is said that women, generally, are more sociable than men. So it is no surprise that I was faced with many hours of frustration during the days when I had no friend after I initially reached Australia. So here are some tips to entertain yourself:

- Exploring the internet
The wild wild web is an excellent place to find weird information. Google is one of my favourite sites. I just search any word that comes to mind. Gives you endless hours of fun! You link from one site to another and almost invariably end up at some porn site! Beginning to sound fun eh?

- Discovering places
This is learnt from my housemate who went to campus on her first day and took any path she saw without consulting the map. In Singapore, we can also do this! It would be really fun to try it out at the new Marina Square and don’t peek at the directory! Not even when you are dying from hunger and really need to find the foodcourt fast! Alternatively, you can flag down any bus and just see where it goes. As with most exploration expedition, make sure you have enough money to take a cab home when you end up at Ong Lai Rd.

- Finding a stuffed toy, giving it a kickass name and telling it your deep dark secrets like how Butters told Awesom-o his
Meet Lion.

He’s my newest bed buddy (a poor substitute for Ah Pan. Look at his puny size!). Chatting with inanimate objects does wonders for your soul! Just look at Anita Yuen in “He’s a woman, she’s a man”. I just hope if I chat long enough with Lion, I’ll be come as pretty. Muhahahahaha…

- Buying a broccoli flower for yourself
Who cares about receiving roses or lilies? So boring! Take your pick from some broccoli! They are damn big and way more unique than boring bouquets. And relatively cheap too! Only one color? You are dead wrong!

They're universal!

I expected that there will not be the same kind of students in postgraduate courses as those I have met/observed in undergraduate studies. This stemmed from my rationale that these pupils were already dead from all the dagger stares directed at them. Boy, was I wrong, mate! They will haunt us at every level!

So who are they?

- The one who always have an answer
It is easy to identify this one. Usually seated in the first row, his/hers is the hand you will see shooting up whenever anything remotely like a question is said. “Isn’t it a fine day?” said lecturer. “Aye, great day for a walk around campus,” replied him/her. He/she is also likely to have the loudest voice (so everyone can hear his/her intellectual answers of course).

- The one who chats up pretty girls only
You know how houseflies like to buzz around poo? If you want to seek this one out, you just have the find the poo – the pretty girls! Alright, that’s an unfair analogy. The housefly bit is being nice while the poo bit is being sour grapes? Haha… Another way of singling this guy out is to check his outfit. Usually overdressed for school with some quirky style that he might think is cool. For example, you may find a metal chain securing his wallet to his belt loop or maybe bright fuchsia shoes with green polka dots that are so in.

- The one who sits at the back of lecture hall and dozes
By virtue of location, you can find this one. The lecture theatre is full you say? No problem, just follow the smell of drool. Or the sound of things flying all over the place because he/she has dozed right off the chair.

- The one who is religiously copying every word said
Listen for the sound of non-stop scribbling or that of pencil box being hastily opened because the first new pen has ran out of ink and it is a matter of life-and-death to get a new pen as soon as possible to take more notes. I think Singaporean students are often accused of this. Let me say something in our defense: if we don’t write stuff, we will just be one of the former.

- The one who laughs at the lecturer’s lame jokes
He/she can compete with the one who always have an answer because they both like to be loud. This one contributes with a thundering laughter or a laugh that ends way later than everyone else’s and way beyond what the joke is worth.

Why Singapore always gets bad reviews for customer service

If you come to Australia, you will find the answer to the question. They love to greet people, so much so the bus driver will take it upon himself to screw you up if you do not greet him. Seriously, what is the big deal? I know the custom here is to greet people, but is there a difference in what you say? Doesn’t a “hi” constitute a form of greeting?

If you are wondering what I am rambling about, let me tell you the fat slob of a driver I met today. I wanted to take a bus to the city and had no idea what the fare is. So I proceeded to ask the fucked-up driver whose salary I pay (part of anyway).

Driver (D - D suits his D cup boobs, man): Good afternoon.

Me (smiling): Hi. What is the fare to city?

D (like a broken record): Good afternoon.

Me (thought he did not understand my question): Hi. What is the fare to city?

D (like a broken record with D cup boobs): Good afternoon.

Me (wondering what he wanted): Good afternoon?

D (with his wobbling D cups): Really! Where have your manners gone!

So, now I know I have to greet the bus driver his way. “Hi” is not the proper way to acknowledge the mighty bus driver who is providing ME with the service.

This is why Singapore will never get good ratings for customer service. How can we when we do not have bus drivers trying to educate people on how to greet them their way?

On the other hand, bus drivers are the worst. There are plenty of other service staff here who give nothing but the best and most polite assistance. They make you feel the warmth of being in a foreign country. I guess sitting too long on your ass and driving people around makes you a grouchy and fucked-up rude asshole eh, Mr. D?

Why your pretty pink bag with green squares don’t go with humongous chocolate bar, purple lolly, 3” mint wedges with orange straps and slope...

Boring food blog

Today’s post has something to do with this:

Why would I be taking photographs of my condiments? Because there are some “Asian” seasonings you should never buy in Australia. If you are grocery shopping for the first time, stick to buying brands you have seen before. I really regretted buying this bottle of dunnowhat because it doesn’t taste like any soy sauce I have tried before. Yes, it was cheaper, but since I have banished it to the back of my cupboard, it is now way too expensive. Let’s look at the other things in the pics shall we?

Firstly, you see a white packet at the back of the cupboard. That, my friend, is a pack of sugar. Yes! Here in Australia, there is no need to put your sugar in air-tight containers because it is too darn cold and there are almost no ants. To its left, that’s 1 kg of rice. “Asian” rice. It seems like almost everyone is lumped into “Asian” no matter that we may be from China or Singapore or Vietnam. The grocery shop has mainly two types, the “normal” types and the “Asian” types. For some stuff, there are more categories. They have “Singapore” noodles (whatever that is I have no idea) and Cantonese noodles.

Moving on, you will see a can of Campbell. It is bigger than the conventional size we see in Singapore and I’ll do a taste review when I decide that I shouldn’t wait for it to be expired. Up front, we see a yellow box with the familiar “Maggi” logo. Chicken stock of course except that I cannot afford to get chicken from the grocery shop to put in the soup. I wonder if my housemates will be tempted to drink a pot of chicken stock soup without any ingredients in it. Then we have NesCafe. Sadly, there’s no instant coffee here. They have a wide variety of coffee though. But I don’t know how to make nice coffee. Life is sad.

Can you recognize the green can? Yep! That’s the dear old milo although it’s a little different from the Singapore variety. You can add cold milk directly to it but I must say our milo dinosaur taste better. Slightly further back, it’s the trusted indomee. Instant noodles must be a staple of many students staying in hostel. Since I don’t fancy its taste, I have been cooking porridge almost every night. Indomee is here as backup once my housemates start complaining about the stale oil smell in the kitchen.

Why am I wearing a pair of rubber gloves? Simply because I can stand the static shocks no more. I have been getting these audible shocks whenever I touch metal. While I as picking up a can of condensed milk, shock. When I was reaching for the door knob, shocked. As I took the keys from my pockets, shock. You get the idea.

Am I just too attractive or what!

Hello everyone! I’m blogging from Australia now! There is certainly natural air-con here at 19 degree Celsius. So darn expensive to get internet connection! If you are going to study in Australia, never come on a weekend because there is nothing. The university doesn’t work on weekends and so there was so internet connection for me. Pure misery! Until I added some credits today that is. Imagine having to pay 15 Australian cents for each megabyte you use! So it’s time for me to practice the good computer usage of not wasting bandwidth by not posting a lot of pics (not that I don’t have them, just that I need to conserve my credits).

My days without internet were totally crap. There’s nothing to do but walk in and out of my room and get some groceries. The latter was actually quite enjoyable until you see the bill. A$4 for a bottle of oyster sauce! Lol… But some (by some I mean very little) of the products are cheap. These would include milk ($1+/litre) and ermm… little else? I think fruits are supposed to be less expensive than in Singapore as well but I haven’t really checked it out. It has been quite surreal because everywhere I walk I see more Chinese than Caucasians. I think it’s because of the break that’s why only the international students are around. The university campus is not as big as I imagined but its hills and valleys can certainly fight with NUS Arts. Surprisingly, the university is younger than NUS by about 4 years. That is the age of the university on the current campus.

What are some of the interesting things I’ve seen so far? On the plane, I realize there are a lot of people with very strong bladders because I had nothing better to do than to count how many times the people around me go to toilet – ZERO! Amazing! It’s not that there’s nothing to do on the plane; on the contrary, the in-flight entertainment system is quite erm… entertaining, if you have a thing for movies and such that is. More than 60 for you to choose from with some new releases such as Man of the House that I’ve just watched awhile ago. Bah! Also found that SQ girls really have very good services. Their smiles never waver (though I think the look in their eyes did). The stewardess did not even bat an eyelash when the difficult girl next to me requested for warm milk after warm milk and for her supper after declining it 5 minutes earlier. The girl’s mouth stinks, metaphorically and literally.

What else is interesting? Australians are generally a helpful and friendly lot except for their bus drivers. I asked the driver how much it cost to get to the grocery shop and he told me, ‘How would I know?’ I think he didn’t understand me then asked again to which he finally told me the fare. And coming back, I asked the same question again (though I expected it to be the same but just in case the cops come and decide to throw me into jail for not paying my full fare),to which the other driver had a pretty surly reply as well. It’s crap man. A bit too early to generalize since I have only taken 2 bus rides since my arrival (need to get my student card to enjoy the 50% discount). There’s like 0 Chinese vegetables here. You would expect local produces to be cheaper right? Wrong. 4 stalks of water-logged pak choi cost A$3.

I think that’s quite enough of my ranting for now, so I shall leave you with this:

Pretty toilet paper with my room as background.

Brisbane, here I come!

Leaving for Australia today! :D

Drive your friends crazy

Always feel that nothing you do can irk your friends? Tired of looking at your buddy's bored expression? Want to do something to piss them off so at least your get SOME kind of response from them? Fear not! I am here to impart some of the things you can do to make your friends go ARGH! and wonder why they know you in the first place.

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1. The Wanton Act

Firstly, I am not referring to wanton in the sexual sense. I am talking about the food. Normally, wanton soup looks like this:

My mama makes really tasty wantons! Shall try to get her to cook and use that as my next Idiot-Proofed Recipe!

To crazified your friend, soak a piece of tissue (used or otherwise is not important) into the soup. Stir it around until it resembles a piece of wanton. Of course, you have to do this when friend is looking at an imaginary "chio bu"/"yandao" you conjured up in the far distance. Next take out your camera and get ready to snap the look on your friend's face when you offer him/her your special wanton. Priceless.

2. Pukey tea

Nausea-inducing tea is easy to make. You just need a packet of creamer, a cup of tea and a strong stomach. Make sure the tea is lukewarm before attempting this evil concoction. Add creamer to the tea and stir gently to form lumpy tea that looks like this:

Strong stomach is needed to ensure that you don't puke before your friends do. That would be such an insult to yourself.

Shove the cup in front of your friend and have a paper bag ready.

3. Perform stunts

There are a number of weird things you can do to drive your buddies up the wall. You can show them how you can bend your hand backwards to touch your wrist or how you can twist your thumb until it settles comfortably below the knuckle of your index finger. To draw more "EEEEEEEEEEEE" you can pose for photographs while attempting to poke your eye. Give friend a spoon to catch your eyeball.

Alicia could still smile! I must be getting too predictable!

4. Cause bodily harm to yourself

This is also a test of friendship. Somewhat similar to 3. but more dangerous. Kids, don't try this at home. Some of the things you can do to make your friends loco include eating the tableware and severing your tongue with a bite. Those who are true friends will bother to send you to hospital. Otherwise, you will likely end up in a pool of your own blood. You can also try what my friend did, that is, pick on your scab with a pencil. Let the beautiful pus ooze out for all to see. While you are still alive.

Sure fired way to get an infection.

5. Attack famished friends
If you are not brave enough to try method 4. (I have not heard from or about that friend in a long, long, long, long while...), this is the one for you. When your starving friend's food finally arrive, insist on taking photographs of his/her meal from every angle, using every photo mode available in your camera. If this doesn't drive them crazy, they are probably already dead from starvation.

You can make them do the peace sign.

Best is to let them eat a piece of chicken then start your 1 hour long photography session.

Or just ask them to hold their chopsticks up with their trembling-weak-from-the-lack-of-food fingers.

You can take your own sweet time to arrange the cutlery to test their patience further.

And take pictures until the pipping-hot-only-nice-when-eaten-immediately 四季豆 turn ice-cold...

Until the 拉面 turn into mush...

Until the 小龙包 has no more dragon.

Take those of the mango pudding without the milk...

And those when the milk is ready to be poured...

When the milk is being drizzled on...

Until the pudding is soaked and can no longer be eaten.

Photos of common food like bread will do too...

Remember the solo pics!

Fishy cannot be let off...

And don't let ham and cheese miss out on the action!

Homogeneous fastfood deserve some decent shots with the sauces carefully and time-wastingly organized...

Or the harshbrowns meticulously arranged.

Lastly, use their food as props for your loco picture. And rope in their hands to hold the darn drinks!

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Hopefully ur friend will give you this look!

-___-""