Something's strange in spring

When I was young, I used to read books that raved about spring. It's supposed to be the season where the animals give birth to the young and everything was nice and all because the flowers will be blooming. No one prepared me for the shock I see around here:

Firstly, the worms invade the ground.

Then the brushes you use to wash milk bottles start growing on trees.

You open your window for the lovely spring air and somehow get a sense that you are being watched by things that start singing at 4am.

After all these, you go mad and start going to the toilet for jam to put on your bread.

I was subsequently told that I look older in spring. *sobs* How old do I look to you?