Days of nothingness that resulted in something

As some of your probably know, I only have one paper (yes, I'm rubbing it in) and am now enjoying days of nothingness. Doing nothing is great. Having time for yourself is the most awesome thing. You sleep when you want to, you watch whatever you have been dying to watch (because there is the intranet to download stuff from) and you catch up on surfing friendster (friendster is way underrated).

So while I was busy doing nothing, I stumbled upon a few good shows. For some reason, I tend to gravitate towards medical shows so not surprisingly, these are the programs I have been catching:

Scrubs

House M.D

Grey's Anatomy

I think I like medical shows because come on, let's face it, at some point in our lives, we must have wanted to be a doctor. It may be (mostly) for the great pay or the power to save lives. Whatever the reason, I think being a doctor would kick ass. Out of these three shows, my favourite is House M.D because the sarcasm of the lead character, Gregory House (played by Hugh Laurie) is first class. If you like sarcasm, this is the show to catch.

The close second would be Scrubs, of which I am on the 4th season. It can't be too bad if it stars Zach Braff who got to smooch Natalie Portman in Garden State. Upon seeing Mr. Braff you might find it hard to believe that he is actually a director and writer. He is really excellent playing the role in Scrubs because he had no qualms about falling down all the time. I think one of my favourite character in the show must be the janitor played by Neil Flynn who loves tormenting the young doctor played by Zach:

The janitor has no name in the show

Scrubs is a little like Ally McBeal as the characters imagine things in their minds. House is interesting because it is about solving puzzles except that the outcome is the difference between life and death.

As for Grey's Anatomy, I don't really like it, I'm just sticking around to laugh my ass off at some of the incredible things that happen like how the group of interns are all attached to one another and to their attendents in this x-sided love er... shaped thing. If you look back at the picture, the two on the exreme right are in an on-off relationship ONLY that the guy is actually married (let's call this couple A). The black guy standing up and the Asian girl sitting down are together which is kind of against the rule because one is the superior of the other (couple B). The guy beside the black guy likes the girl from couple A but is too chicken to tell her. Then the blonde girl beside him and the guy next to her are together as well, but only just because the girl cannot stand the guy (couple C). The remaining two people in the picture? Well, they are not together saved for the black guy having something with the girl from couple A. So, count the sides now people.

Let's get back to the more interesting shows. Why this post says doing nothing resulted in something leh? Because these shows are not merely TV programs! Oh no! There are so many memorable quotes from them that I found it hard to keep up. Here are a selected few:

Scrubs
JD: That's a load of crap because nobody is themselves when they start dating. Dating is just acting like you are somebody you're not until the person likes you enough so you can show them who you really are.
Elliot: No it's not.
JD: What do you call that bra you wore for your date last week?
Elliot: Oh, the miracle lift super push-up bra.

House M.D
Dr. Gregory House: You think it's going to come out on its own? Are we talking bigger than a breadbasket? 'Cause actually, it will come out on its own, which for small stuff is no problem: it's wrapped up in a nice soft package and plop. Big stuff? You're gonna rip something, which, speaking medically, is when the fun stops.
Young Man: How did you...?
Dr. Gregory House: You've been here for half an hour and you haven't sat down; that tells me its location. You haven't told me what it is; that tells me it's humiliating. You have a little birdie carved under your arm; that tells me you have a high tolerance for humiliation, so I figure it's not hemarrhoids. I've been a doctor twenty years, you're not going to surprise me.
Young Man: It's an MP3 player.
Dr. Gregory House: Is it... is it because of the size, the shape, or is it the pounding bass line?

***

Rachel Adler: I just want to die with a little dignity.
Dr. Gregory House: There's no such thing! Our bodies break down, sometimes when we're 90, sometimes before we're even born, but it always happens and there's never any dignity in it! I don't care if you can walk, see, wipe your own ass... it's always ugly, always! You can live with dignity; you can't die with it!

That first bit about the dating thing is a bit sad ah. But I think it's quite true. A lot of times, we set out to impress somebody initially, watching what we talk about, how we eat/sit/drink/fart/dig nose and later when you are more comfortable with one another, they only see you in your well-worn home clothes and smell your 3-day-never-shower fragrance.

And for the dying with dignity part, I wonder if I would even care when I die. It's just a corpse after all. This leads me to something I was asking my housemates the other day. On the telly, they were talking about doing face transplant for disfigured people. I was wondering apart from asking the recipients whether they would like to have somebody else's face, who would want to donate a face? 死无全尸 leh. Hmm... Then my housemates said they would be ok with donating organs but not the face. I also don't know whether I would donate my face. I figure because the face is so much of our identity; it is how people know us and it also conveys to others what we are feeling; it is such a big part of us that I think it would be hard to part with it even in death. By the way, the recipient would not look purely like the donor; instead the final outcome will be the intermediate of the two.

I wonder if males can get female faces and vice versa. Hmm... Think about it eh!

Experienced

Some days, we felt like we are dying. But when those days are over, you think to yourself: Hey! That was a good experience.

You and I

You and I, we were never apart. Everyday when I woke up and thought about you, my heart leapt a little and danced a joyous dance. I was thankful that I had you in my life and never thought you would some day leave me. Even though it had not been a smooth ride, I had fallen hard for you in the short time we were together.

Do you remember that day? When I dressed up to go out and there you were, wearing that color to compliment me. No other men would have done that for me. All my friends were envious of us. They told me how lucky I was to get you because upon seeing you, they knew you were the one for me. I never doubted it. My friends know me well.

Before I left for school, I would always think about you. Some days, we would go to school together and on those days, you made my toes curled up in happiness. Before I went to bed, you would always be on my mind and I would smile a little.

You know, mum was against you initially. She did not see you in the same light as I did. But I was glad I had chosen you for besides you, no other would do. I had not told mum about us but she found out later anyway and gave me a shake of her head. I did not like seeing mum unhappy but just a glance at you told me I made the right choice.

My friends did not feel you were good-looking enough. So who cares! In my heart of hearts, I know you and I were meant to be. Why, why then, did you have to break my heart? I gave my all to you; I even painted my toenails when I went out with you. Why did you have to give me such happiness and now bear to leave me alone? I know you had to go sooner or later but I just cannot stand the sadness in my broken heart now.

I hate you. For now, my heart is dead and I can never love again.

Randomly now

Sometimes I think it might actually be easier to show your friendship than your love. It may not be a big deal to show your friends that you care for them in an off-handish kind of way way but some may see you as less "cool" if you go all lovey-dovey on your other half.

Just a random thought.

***

I think guys get PMS too and sometimes they are scarier than girls. With girls you can (supposedly) predict and it usually lasts for a few days. So, after your initial scare with your female friend, you know to avoid her for the next few days or so. But with some guys I know, they can actually go from hot to cold in seconds. I think that is way more irritating.

Furthermore, I hate people who put girl's bad mood down to "that time of the month". Well, fuck you because not all girls get moody in the pre-menstrual period and is that you trying to say because it's the hormones that's making her like that so we can all proceed to ignore her outburst because it really doesn't mean anything? Sorry buddy, think again.

***

Some talk with my girlfriends later, I gathered that the world is not easy on males today. Firstly, there's the whole sexual equality bullshit and then there's the being a gentleman nicety thing. This is an old argument so let's not get into that. So I asked my friends this:

"Would you want your other half to be a male chauvinist?"

A restounding "No!!!".

"Do you think he should be jealous?"

Perfect harmony of "Yes!!!".

Girls, what do we want? -sigh-

My second half day

Now I realize all my brothers are reading my blog on and off, even my elder brother! Yikes! Scary!! Haha… Anyway he asked me sometime ago when I would continue my crappy 2nd half day, so here goes…

As mentioned previously, I was waiting for the beloved 411. As I sat there, I saw how interesting it was that almost all the posters in UQ had an Asian in them.

Ahhh... Represented!

Something struck me. When you are a minority, you start to see yourself differently. What is your identity? I see myself as a Singaporean but what sets someone from Singapore apart from others who, externally, look the same?? I found out later that we do have a Singaporean accent. It is not the “lah” and “meh” for I try not to use these in class not because I am not proud to be from Singapore, but because I think most people would not understand what it means. For this very reason, I am highly amused by local productions. Do we hear people speaking in pure English with a slang that is not American, not British in reality; speaking in a way that is not punctuated with “mah” and “hor”? I think the thing that is not common in mainstream media actually might actually be the very thing that binds us together. Anyway, I digress.

So I kept looking out for the bus and was ready to hop on the moment it pulls up at the stop. It was going to be my first bus ride! Complete with my nerdy outfit and torch in the bag. When I board the bus, I did as E instructed:

Me: Hi, how much is it to Hawken Drive please?
Driver: I don’t know.
Me (??? You don’t??? know who?? will??? know?????): Ermmm… Hawken Drive? (pushes specs up my oily bridge)
Driver: Well, it depends.
Me (????? HAR??? HUH??? WHAT??? HMMMM??): It depends?
Driver (getting frustrated): It depends on whether it’s adult or concession!!!
Me (???HAR??HUH???HAR???): Concession?
Driver (louder voice): DO YOU HAVE A CONCESSION CARD??
Me (stammers): erm… I don’t have one… but I am a student here…
Driver (even louder voice): WELL, THAT’S ADULT THEN!!! $2.10!!!
Me (picks up fallen jaw from floor and dug for money): Oh.. thank you... (held out money in my palm)
Driver: DON’T GIVE IT TO ME! (Ed: Yes, at this, I had an even bigger question mark above my head) (taps on a small table-like thing beside him) PUT IT THERE!

WHAT A MOTHERFUCKING SONOFABITCH!!! In case you were wondering, while this excruciating 2 minute conversation was going on, there was a queue behind me, waiting to get onto the bus. If being rude was not enough, he had to shame me in front of the whole bus. Don’t he know we are the customers while he is the driver? I mean where is the respect?! Yes, yes… I know some of you are sniggering now, thinking why I didn’t lash back at him. Look at it this way, if I did, he might throw me off the bus and the last meal I had was like 9 hours ago and it was just a bun! If I didn’t go to the grocer asap, I just might expire there on the ground or have a really bad start with my housemates for stealing their food.

I told myself then that I would never go get grocery again. I was even too tired to be properly angry. I concentrated on remembering E’s instructions. She said I will see this place on my right with the big letters “COLES” written. What the hell is a COLES? I had no frikking idea. If that’s a restaurant, I don’t care if the meal cost me $50, I am going to eat. I want food. I need food!

I settled in for the bus ride and casually glanced around, absorbing the scenery. Like what housemate G said, the sky here is really blue. Suddenly, a flash of red caught my eyes. THE MORONIC COLES! Damn! I so do not need to antagonize the driver now. The bus had stopped but the back door wasn’t opened because no one had pressed the bell. He was only letting people up the bus. I decided to try my luck and press the bell gingerly. –driiiiing-

Ah! Music to my ears! The doors opened and I leapt out as fast as I could. I swore the driver deliberately closed the doors a second earlier, hoping to nick my ankles. Anyway, I didn’t give a damn, the beloved COLES was right across the road!

Village sia! This building is as big as the "village" goes. But kind of reminds me of Holland Village, the part where Cold Storage is.

So I skipped hurriedly into its welcoming doors. Supermarket! Yay!!! I grabbed a trolley (later I realize because they have an aversion to trolleys here; they love to work their arms) and like the nerd I was dressed as, I went berserk. I rushed from aisle to aisle, grabbing whatever caught my fancy. After all, I was NEVER, EVER going to do groceries again. EVER. Here’s a list of what I got:

 Serviettes
 Toilet rolls (We all need to shit don’t we?)
 Tea towels (Mama said must clean the cupboards)
 Container (Don’t know for what)
 Cheese
 Frankfurters
 Pork loin steak
 Eggs
 Cabbage
 Margarine
 Sugar
 Instant noodles (LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS AND LOTS)
 Bread
 Rice
 Detergent
 Moisturizer (The air here is horrible. I actually had a minor nosebleed… Even eating chocolates did not do that to me…)
 Shower foam
 Muesli bars (When I get gastric pains, I need my filling food immediately!)
 Milo
 Coffee (They don’t have instant coffee here! *sobs*)
 Canned tuna
 Pepper
 Oyster sauce
 Soy sauce (Don’t try to be a smart alec and save money by using the homebrands. You will kill yourself from the taste.)
 Mineral water

That rang up to a grand total of $79.35. Ka-ching! :( And here’s some of the goods:

Gloves from my friends! I'm not that anal!

My arms nearly broke the first time I tried to carry all the stuff. OH NO! I forgot that I had to travel back! Where is the bus stop?! I asked the very cute cashier where the bus-stop to UQ was. He gave me a weird look. I thought I had really bad accent so I asked again. He told me it was just outside, while continuing to give me the puzzled look. How am I ever going to hook guys if all they are going to give me are looks that say they think I am crazy? Haiz… On the other hand, after I’ve been here awhile, I get weird pick up lines. The most recent one was two guys following me while I was shopping alone in the city yesterday. They were standing behind me on the escalator talking very loudly, but I was just excited about my first city trip in don’t know how long so I didn’t really pay them any attention. I walked into this shop and they trailed behind me. Suddenly, right into my right ear, this voice murmured:

“Excuse me miss, how short is your skirt?”

Wah lao! My skirt not even short lor! I knew I was going out alone and hence wore a longer skirt. Don’t come and harass me lor! I know yoga ok! (Right… That just makes me flexible, not dangerous… Hmmm...) Somemore, I think I looked sick with my red nose and all:

My red shiny nose and orh bak kak

I pretended not to hear and walked around the shop. But they insisted on pestering me, asking me the length of my skirt, in inches, in centimeters, in meters. Still, I did not reply. I just kept on walking as though they were not talking to me. But it was quite fun. Just when I was thinking of replying them in mandarin, they gave up. zzzz…. No kick. Anyway, back to 2nd half day.

I waited and waited at the bus-stop for the bus to take me home. I just want to devour all my food. But sad to say, the frequency of their bus service here is atrocious. Especially on weekends. Besides, I was so nervous about meeting the bus-driver. What if all of them are the same pain in the ass fucked up service PROVIDERS? Luckily for me, this guy was alright, though the exorbitant bus fare still made my jaw dropped again (Actually, if you take any bus within two hours from the first ride you took, you just have to show the driver your previous ticket and you can transfer buses for free. But you cannot take back the original bus. Sounds complicated? You bet! I think they can have a whole degree course on taking buses here.)

I struggled and struggled with the groceries, all the while wishing for the guy who had helped me with my luggage to appear before me again. But no luck. Then I saw the slope I had to take. Oh yes, welcome to the tone-your-arse hill.

Finally I got home. Wait a minute! This isn’t my home! I just arrived! My home is back in Singapore. Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!

Pig me

Pigsonality test

I need help!

Come! Faster wish me luck for my first and only paper tomorrow! I need it! zzzzz

Management Studies

I don't know why it's around. Everything is contingent; something might happen; not applicable in all cases...

Many different names to mean the same thing
E.g. Vision = aspiration = strategic direction = strategic intent = strategic path = what we stand for = to be said in less than 5 minutes and generate understand and/or enthusiasm

I only know my vision = poor.

Pui!

Poem for you my friend

My dear friends who are facing impending exams, here's a nice poem for you while you take a break and read my blog:

The sun is rising, the birds are chirping,
My time is running and so is yours
The mind is bleeding, the eyes are tearing,
My boat is sinking and so is yours
The back is aching, the pens are drying,
My clock is ticking and so is yours.

STILL READING?! STOP!

Why do we blog?

The blog comes along and hey! Suddenly, everyone has a voice! We want our opinions about this, this and this to be heard. There’s almost no censorship and it’s ours; we can write what we want. Well, firstly, MDA will disagree with you. There is no practice of free speech in Singapore; in fact, what we have leans more towards responsible speech. Why should someone be allowed to say what he wants and not have to account for it? We also have pretty strong defamation and slander laws so that’s food for thoughts.

As for blogs being an avenue for your views to be seen, it’s not that straight forward is it? If everyone talks, who is going to listen? You have to be pretty famous before you gain the whole critical mass and the snowballing starts. In the meantime, you are really blogging for yourself. Some may argue that those who remained obscure have blogs that sucks. Well, you be the judge of that.

There is another view that we blog because we can remain anonymous but this anonymity is only perceived. Many people have gotten fired for blogging because they unknowingly posted work-related topics which some employers are extremely sensitive about. On the other hand, some companies have also started to use blogs as a marketing channel. The more honest of these might provide popular bloggers with endorsement deals or give freebies to these bloggers and hope they blog about it and influence others to get that products. The more deceitful might start a blog and pretend to have no affiliation with the company yet sing their praises sky-high.

Another reason to blog is because we are egotistical and exhibitionistic in nature. Some like to post lots of photos of themselves while others like to talk about their lives and themselves. This would suit the voyeurs just fine because they can openly peep into the lives of others from the comfort of their own homes. I heard that some of these people even ask their friends to refer to their blogs to know what’s going on in their lives instead of having a face-to-face chat.

There’s also the bloggers who start a blog out of pure boredom or just for fun. Somehow I suspect that these will be the ones who are less popular. I mean, to churn out a really good blog does really some thinking after all. But judging from what started them out, they are likely not to give a shit about their popularity or lack of.

Lastly, there’s the group who will blog to jump on the bandwagon. The herd instinct is strong and in order not to be left out from the “latest craze” and from conversations, you blog.

Soulmate... or not?

Can you start a relationship with someone who’s very much like you? It sounds great, doesn’t it? Perk your butt a little and the other party knows what kind of fart you are going to emit. You will have the same interests and same ideas about everything. He just has to look at something and look at you and bingo! You get him. Completely. She looks at something and looks at you and there! She gets a diamond ring. Expensively. Perfection?

On the contrary, I think that life with someone who is JUST like me will be so boring. Do we even need to talk? I can imagine our conversations will go like this:

Me: I think we will never be contended with what we have.
Him: Yes, yes, yes! I think that ALL the time!
Me: But in a way it’s good too, isn’t it? Then you will strive for more.
Him: Yes, yes, yes! I think that ALL the time!
Me: Hmm… I feel like having cheese cake now.
Him: Yes, yes, yes! I think that ALL the time!

Someone once told me that he could not be with his soul mate because it would be incestuous. If you know so much about that person, would that be too much?

On the other hand, if you date someone who’s the complete opposite of you, it’s going to be hell on earth. Imagine disagreeing on everything. So, so tiring…

Hong Kong movie industry

My housemates and I were talking about how nowadays, there seems to be a lack of good hongkong movies (see the Don's latest post for example). Jacky Chan is turning into a clown for Hollywood and most movies out in recent years feature the Gen Y boyish actors like Daniel Wu, Edison Chan and a few others who all look the same to me. Good-looking? Yes they are. But the plot is weak and their acting? Well, we sense they were no match for veterans such as Tony Leung, Anita Mui, Leslie Cheung, Gallen Lo and Maggie Cheung.

When was the last time you saw a really good HK movie? Mine was Kung Fu Hustle. Do you feel that the films they churn out now have very weird dialogues? There's a sense that they are trying very hard to imitate Wong Kar Wai, with all the weird scripts. Here's something that's rather typical:

Her: Don't you feel that love is like a cup of coffee?
Him: Hmm...
Her: It takes a lot of work to make a good cup of coffee... The water temperature must be just right, the amount of coffee powder to put has to be just so and with the perfect sweetness and just a tinge of bitterness...
Him: Yes! Love IS coffee!

Cuties girls just prance around the screen proclaiming their love for their new found sexuality while boys with devil-may-care attitudes seem more concerned about their hair than anything else.

We were also wondering whether there are any actors now who are really versatile. Those from Tony Leung's era don't count. Can you think of any? We can't.

My first half day

Last morning, at about 3am, I was talking with my housemates. I was narrating to them my horrible firsts here in Australia. After groaning and they laughing till I almost cried at the terribleness of my experiences, E remarked that it would be a great idea to record our interesting days here in Brisbane where we only club and sing and hold house meetings at 3am. +_+ Right…

Anyway, I think E gave a very good suggestion right? So here I am, blogging about my first day in Brisbane. It was on the 9th of July, 2005. I had just spent a whole 30 minutes trying to get the keys to my room. What was the problem? I had stupidly arrived on a weekend. Even though it was 9am, there was no one around. Apparently, it is not the norm to work on weekends here in Australia, except for some of the shops that open until 3-5pm. So be warned! DO NOT ARRIVE ON A WEEKEND!!! Anyway, there was supposed to be someone around to pass me the keys but no! He did not answer to my pleading calls! The driver who drove me over and was supposed to see to my safety was fast losing his patience. He banged the phone, and I stupidly, apologized like mad even though it was not my fault. Bah! Blame my excellent upbringing. Hahaha… But he was not pissed at me lah… He had to drive other students to their lodging also.

Anyway, we went to the intercom of the building where I was SUPPOSED to be taking at shower at that time, and called up my unit.

喂喂喂, 你在不在?

Nothing. Bah bah bah! Finally, the guy answered his phone and arrived to pass me the keys and helped me bring my luggage up the stairs. Oh! Talking about luggage, I was struggling and running after my luggage while it was on the belt at the airport. I looked like an ass lor! Then this guy saw me running then he more hiong than me. He sprinted past me and lugged himself at my suitcase, heaved it up, turned it one round and bang! There it was, right in front of me. WooOoOO!!! My hero. Clasping my hands together in gratitude, I fervently thanked him. Before that, I was contemplating whether I should wait and wait and wait until everyone has gone then collect my luggage. Well, back to the story.

So I reached my place and saw the house that I would live in for the next 5 months for the first time. Wah! Bigger than what I thought leh!

G, E and N are my housemates. You can't miss me right?

Then hor, I felt a sharp pang of hunger. Die! NO FOOD!!! And according to what the guy said, there’s no shops that’s opened here on weekends. *sobs* Then I heard some noises. Hmm… I thought there was no one around when I came in? I walked out tentatively, wondering if it was going to be my first excitement in Brisbane. A WOMAN WITH LONG BLACK HAIR!!! She was rushing into the toilet, then I thought to myself: What a friendly housemate! Hahaha… It was E lah. She was sick and could hardly stand (That’s what she said during our morning conversation. Wu ngai bo? :P). Then I thought that it was great to have someone around; at least I know where I can get some food. But sadly, E wasn’t in the best of mood to entertain me. You can’t blame someone whose room spun around her when she stood up, can you?

Of course, the most important thing I had to do was set up my computer. TMD! NO FRIKKING INTERNET! What the hell?! Isn’t it supposed to be free like NUS and using wireless? What stupid things do I need to connect to internet? And I had to let my parents know what I have reached safely! How how?!

I whipped out my handphone only to realize that I pathetically did not have auto-roaming activated. How clever can I get? Room phone? Sure! But there’s no credit in the phone and I had to go to the office to top up phone credit. Guess what? Yep! It’s not opened on weekends! How nice! So I had to swallow my pride and knocked on E’s (who apparently did not want to talk) door and asked her how to get the internet up. She was very helpful; lending me an extra cable and coming to help me set up but to no avail. Why leh? Because I had no credit and I had to top it up in the bloody office that was so conveniently closed! There’s supposed to be a free internet account from school with a quota capped at 150MB but guess what again? I WAS NOT ENROLLED! I have to go through the whole orientation thing to be considered a student. What? I paid school fees right? Anyway, this blog is not about the idiosyncrasies of the administrative world.

So, no phone, no auto-roam, no internet. Telepathy? Sure, but I think my range is only 1km max and I was thousands and quadrillion of kms away from home. So an idea hit me! Try sms! Yay~ I could finally breathe when the sms got through and I msg a few key people. But I still wasn’t sure if they would receive my msg and so, again, thickening my skin, I asked E if she could let me use her internet account to msg my brother (whom I hoped was online and thankfully, was) on msn. If you had received my msn msg on that day, you now know how horrible the situation was!

Finally, I could shower and that was like the first thing that went well. After coming out from the shower, I smelt something cooking and all the saliva rushed into my mouth again. I was still hungry. E was at the stove whipping up pasta. PASTA!!! She offered me some but I declined. I didn’t want to appear greedy and besides, I wasn’t sure I could stop after “some”. Poof! E was gone, back into her room. Die! Still haven’t asked where to get some food.

Haiz... I opened the fridge and contemplated whether I should steal some food. Nah… I was going to stay with them and I can’t afford people poisoning my food subsequently. So I dragged myself back to my sparse room. I looked at the bed, it looked at me. My third contemplation of the day was whether I should sleep the hunger away or maybe buy some food from E. But it struck me. After sleeping and hopefully waking up, I would still have no food. So weighing the consequences of dying on my first day and that of having a bad start with a housemate, I decided the former was less dire. Besides, I would win her over with my crappiness soon, assuming she wasn't a ninny-putt (read: crappophobic and no, she’s not). Yes yes yes… I knocked again to inquire about how to get some food.

So she told me I could take a bus to this place called Hawken Dr. You know how I looked like? I was holding a pen and paper in my hand, asking for directions to the nearest grocer and taking down notes! What I wrote was “411” “Hawken Dr”. Yay! Time to get food! So I went to my room, gather some stuff like torchlight (Daddy’s order because winter day is short) and wore my track shoes (Mummy’s order because it was cold). Yes, I officially look like a nerd. Never mind. I can go shopping soon but that’s another story. So in broad daylight at 1pm, I placed a torch in my bag and wore track shoes to take a bus.

After leaving the house, I was stumped. Which direction do I go? E just told me to go to the bus-stop and take 411. Where the hell is the bus-stop? Die until cannot die. Luckily, I saw this good-looking guy walking past. Sad. How could I bring myself to ask for directions to the bus-stop in my cringe-worthy looking state? I could because it was a life or death situation. The chocolate Raymond and Linda gave me before I left was fast dwindling. This was our conversation.

Me: Hi. Can I know where is the bus-stop?
Him: Bus-stop?
Me: Yeah… ermm.. you know, to take the bus? (Right, he looks stupid. Nice-going girl!)
Him: Oh! It’s easy! Just go up the slope and you will see it.
Me: Slope?
Him: You know, the incline there. (Points to slope. Now I AM stupid.)
Me: Oh… And the bus-stop is there?
Him: Yes! You just go up, turn right, turn left, go up and you will see it.
Me (fervently hoping he would be kind enough to bring me there): Ermm… Ok… Thanks…
Him: No problem! Have a good day! (Lumbers off into the sun and gone from my sight forever. Haiz…)

I guess I was lucky I did not take down notes about the directions and appear to be a bigger klutz because you CANNOT miss the giant bus-stop. 黄熊熊 and Retarded Kangaroo will show you why:

黄熊熊's paw is pointing to the bus-stop at Chancellor's Place and R.K's snout is pointing to Hood St where I stay.

YAY! Bus-stop!!! But where do I wait for the bus? For your information, the bus-stop is about 30m long and there were a number of signposts so I had no idea where to go. Then I thought the technique, monkey see monkey do was good. I saw this girl going up to one of the boards and decided: Yes! That’s the way. You use your eyes to see! Pray forgive how stupid I sound in this blog. I was jet lagged, had almost not made it to my lodging, met a housemate who appeared to want me dead each time I knocked on her door, approached a cute guy in track shoes, knowing I was carrying a torch in my bag in broad daylight, and was hungry enough to eat grass. You think you would fare better than me? Rubbish!

But! My heart nearly stopped when I saw the board. It was the bus timetable:

NO MORE BUS?!

I WAS going to die on my first day. I rubbed my eyes and looked again. Thankfully, I was in stupid mood the first time round. This is the full picture:

Heh heh... Yeah... I frikking blind

Now just have to wait for bus! Yay!!!

*** To be continued***

I sense the end of me...

One day, I was innocently doing my grocery shopping and this happened:

I sense that my housemate will find me unconscious in the bathroom soon...

This is what it is:

Smells better than real chocolate

I'll let you know the taste soon. In spirit.

Retarded Kangaroo for your thoughts?

Welcome, welcome! Let's put our paws together for Retarded Kangaroo!

If you are hungry, should you abstain from shitting? You need to keep all the food you can inside right?

*Post inspired by Ms Ling.

Retarded Kangaroo for your thoughts?

Welcome, welcome! Let's put our paws together for Retarded Kangaroo!

Starting from today, Retarded Kangaroo will confront us with the weirdest questions ever! In the inaugural post, R.K asks:

"If your partner sleeping with a member of the opposite sex is being unfaithful and unforgivable, what about your partner sleeping with someone from his/her own sex?"

Now it's spring. The birth of wonderful insects, the screams of frightened housemates, the laughter from evil old me! Ah! I love spring.

The bugs love lights and would settle on my laptop. It's time for some fun! Here's the top Q&A for some bug loving!

Question: What do you do when bugs are attracted to your laptop?
Answer: Follow them with your mouse. It seriously freaks them out.

Question: What if they refuse to leave?
Answer: You squash them with your recipes.

Question: What to do after making a cup of coffee?
Answer: Cover it well. Unless you fancy drinking bugs for some extra protein.

The weirdness!

Something is wrong here!

Pretty feet for the keyboard!

Mickey mouse ear bug!

Cramp your fingers!

Feeling bored? In an artistic mood? No pencil and paper? Want to be challenged? STOP DIGGING YOUR NOSE!

Visit SketchPlanet today! While you are at it, check out what I have done!

Disclaimer: If you lose your painstaking work, do not blame me. I know how it feels. Give the guy a chance; it's still in beta!

We have a winner!

A few days ago, I ask people to spot the wrongness in this:

I also provided some hints. Today, we finally have a winner!

*drumroll*

Congratulations anonymous -mon-! Here's your winning entry:
"Anonymous said...
or maybe it's the security cams on the roof of the bus. it could take down-blouse pics eh. -mon- "

For your stunning answer, I shall award you with an e-kiss! *smooch*

Here's the story behind the pic. One day, I was innocently on the bus, looking around me as I deliberated whether to dig my nose. Left was a friend who's used to my disgusting habit. Clear. Right was the window. Clear. Back were people who were too busy talking about their zits, boobs and bums. Clear. Front were two hotties sitting like they were pooping, therefore spoiling the hunk image. So clear. Then the top! OH MY GOD! THE TOP!

There they were, a few tiny globes scanning the bus. Can see?

I pooped on the wrongness!

So I could not dig my nose! Who was watching me? Nowadays, we have these surveillance cameras all over the place. Why? In the name of fighting terrorism. I think back in good ol' days, no one would take this lying down:

"The authorities have no right to monitor our every move!"

So is this now right then? I had no idea what the cameras were for and thus googled it to hopefully get some answers. Nope. Nothing. Zilch. No information whatsoever about why the all-knowing e-eyes were there and what they were looking for. Why are we living in such an Orwellian society now? Who is the Big Brother watching us? Is there any Big Brother at all?

Let's think about it. We can install an infinite amount of cameras but are they effective? That depends on what they are used for. If someone is going to commit a crime, will it serve as deterrence? If we have cameras zooming around, ideally there should be a team of people monitoring everything 24-7. Are there?

I can tell you what it is good for: I only dig my nose in the bathroom.

WHO IS WATCHING YOU TODAY?