Juices

Whenever I drink juices, I feel healthy. I head for the loo within 30 minutes of downing the concoction.

I didn't know there are skills required to operate a juice extractor! You know the thing you use to push the fruit down to the blades? Apparently, after you throw the piece of fruit towards its inevitable doom, you have to ram that thing straight in without a moment's hesitation. After ramming the thing in, you have to moderate your speed so that you get your maximum juice from the fruit.

Ok, my description sounds weird.

The definition of a housewife's nightmare

Digging

Fashion Toast - Girl who will be inspiring for those teens at Far East
Karla's Closet - Girl who's into studs and oversized jackets
Styleclicker - We all want to know where she got that

Skool is so cool. Likely totally.

Would you let your child go to school at "My First Skool"?

Operation Ants Eradication II

Ok! Ant count!

Kitchen counter: None visible
Down from 10

Door frame: 01
Down from 5

Yay! Share your food my dear ants! DIE DIE DIE!!!

My bro said they seemed to have stopped eating after some of their counterparts kaput. I am still observing them. More updates!

Operation Ants Eradication I

WARNING: THIS POST IS NOT FOR ANT LOVERS AND MAY CAUSE HALLUCINATIONS OF ANTS CRAWLING ALL OVER YOU

Back in the days when I had to count my coins, I finally chose the soft, fluffy Breadtalk bun for tomorrow's breakfast. It was going to be a 4-hour lecture with little hope of getting a break. Carefully, I tied the transparent plastic bag the bun was placed in and told it I was looking forward to eating it tomorrow. Next, I tied the hand-carry plastic bag as tightly as I could. The precious bundle was then securely brought to the microwave and with tender hands, I put it in, right in the middle.

After a hurried shower, I skipped joyfully to the microwave, rubbing my hands in glee. Yes! I'm finally going to sink my teeth into the soft, fluffy Breaktalk bun. I gently removed the two intricate knots. Holding the baked dough in both hands, I opened my mouth. Wait! What's that? As I was closing my eyes in anticipation of the ecstatic bread-biting moment, I spied a moving creature on my bun. WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! It was an ant. Never mind, an ant doesn't kill anyone. I flicked off the ant, and peeled the bun into half for my inaugural bite. WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?! WHAT THE FUCK?!

WHAT THE FUCK?!!!!!!!!!!

A WHOLE ARMY OF ANTS HAD INVADED MY BUN!!!

I rushed to throw the bun in the dustbin. WAIT A MINUTE! The ants should not be let off so lightly! Even though I was running late for class, I threw the ant-infested bun into the sink and poured boiling water over the bun. There! SCREW YOU!

I live in an old flat, more than 30 year-old to be precise. With cracks in the walls, you will be very naive if you think that ants do not live side-by-side with us. From the white chalk ant bait, to the nth bottle of insecticide, nothing has worked against the 6-legged pests. Today, I was talking to my colleagues about pests and I brought up the ant situation at my house.

Me: My house has sooooooooooo many ants, it's disgraceful!
Eunice: Just buy the ant bait and use lor! So simple.
Colleen: Ya! That one so useful, all the ants will die.
Me: Where got? Don't lie la. I use that one the ants will detour around it lor.
Eunice: Which one you used?
Me: You all not talking about the white white one meh? Like chalk that one?
Eunice: No la! The one we saying like biscuit crumbs.
Me: Got such a thing meh?
Eunice: Ya la! That time my father bought I thought how come the ant bait attracted more ants. But after a while, you see the ants all lying there, dead liao. Super useful!
Me (excitedly): Really?!?! Where to get??
Colleen: Anywhere can buy what.
Eunice: Ya. You go the medical hall also have. If not the cheapskate place can get. (Ed note: Cheapskate place is what we call the shop that sells hardware, cutlery, and utensils.)

So, after lunch, I rushed to get the deadly ant biscuits:

Only $1.80? Sure or not?

Remember to read the instructions before use!

Really look like biscuit crumbs wor!

After eagerly breaking opened a pellet, I liberally sprinkled it at Ants HQ. One pellet was not enough, so I went for the second.

1 minute gone... *tap tap tap*

2 minute gone... *tap tap tap*

5 minute gone... *tap tap... WOAH!!!! THE ANTS HAVE ARRIVED!!!

Eunice and Colleen said the ants will come and bring back the 'food'. Do not worry at this point because the ants are bringing the sweet biscuits back to its colony to share with its mates. When they ingest the poison-filled crumbs, they will crumble and die! Muahahahaha!!! Call in your logistic company then!

Bring them all home! COME ON!!!

It's late now and I think I should read a bit and turn in for the night. I'll update you Operation Ants Eradication on the morrow! Muahahahahahahahaha!!!