Not meant to be

Dinner party 101

The Australian culture (and I suspect most western cultures) seems prone to have people conversing over a meal. The eastern cultures however, is the opposite. Do you remember being told the following since young?

Do not speak with your mouth full!
Eat before your food turns cold!
Stop yammering to your cousin and eat your food! (Granted, most parents wouldn't use the word yammering. But you get my drift.)
Don't sit in front of the TV to eat your food. Later need to waste electricity to reheat the food!
If you eat cold food, you get a lot of 'wind'.

A few times we had dinner together here, whether hosting a dinner party at home or fine dining outside, I noticed how we seldom talk during the meal. My friend said that is to show appreciation for the food; you are savouring the food. Another suggested that we prefer to speak over coffee or alcohol.

For my dinner party yesterday, it was pretty quiet. But I insist it was just because everyone was enjoying the food too much to make conversation. :P

Or am I just a bad host? :x

*Strangely, this post sounded a lot more eloquent while I was showering. Must be the water in my ears that affected my hearing. 'Sounded', geddit?!?!

Evil in a pod

At this moment in my life, evil comes in the form of a wafer cup. The core of evil resides in the cup. Sometimes it's just dark brown, other times it has parts with green or light brown. It is always sweet and weighs 170g. It is Pods.

40 mini evils lurking inside... Inside my stomach, not the box.

They should come with a warning sign that they are highly addictive. It's strange because I don't even like the taste much. I just can't stop eating it. Bite-sized food are the worst. You pop them like nobody's business.

My waist line also kaput.

***

My journey to look at pods in the larder downstairs, as told to a friend.

婷 says:
i went downstairs
婷 says:
i stepped on the weighing machine
婷 says:
then i OH MY GOD and ran up the stairs
婷 says:
now im in my chair
婷 says:
i tried to blog it out of my system
婷 says:
and i OH MY GOD
婷 says:
i still want to eat
婷 says:
+_+

A little conversation

The same three girls were talking about another girl.

Girl 1: I think she's pretty!
Girl 2 to Girl 3: Hey! Girl 1 says that girl is pretty. You know, the one you said look like the actress?
Girl 3: Oh! Yah, I think she's pretty. (to Girl 1) Don't you think she looks like that actress?
Girl 1: Not say don't look like la!
Girl 3: Ask Guy what he thinks!
Girl 1: Hey Guy! What do you think of that girl?

Guy: I don't know her.

Say, what?!

Some girls were commenting on another girl.

Girl 1: Do you think she's really that cute?
Girl 2: I think she's just pretending all sweet and nice. And she thinks she's really cute. How irritating!
Girl 3: I thought she's naturally like that?
Girl 1: Did you see how she prance around? And putting her fingers over the mouth and widening her eyes to look innocently at others! PLUUUEEEAAASSEEE!!! If that's natural, I don't want to see her really act.
Girl 2: Indeed. I can't stand that way she speaks too. The high pitch voice that drags out syllables. What's her problem?
Girl 1: Hey, Boy! What do you think of the girl we are talking about?

Boy: I think she's too skinny.

Idiot-Proofed Recipe - Faux Shark's Fins Soup

It's been so long since I last provided my idiot-proofed recipes. I have neglected you, my poor fans' stomachs! Please forgive me!

Today's recipe is too easy. It prompted one of my housemates, after eating it for the nth time, to exclaim "Wow! You never fail hor!". This is a good substitute for those who rather not be cruel and eat the real thing. Ladies and gentlemen, faux shark's fins soup!

*** Ingredients

Looks complicated but it's really easy to make! Ingredients can be found everywhere too!

- 1 egg
- 1 chicken breast
- 1 small packet glass noodles (aka "dang hoon")
- Crabsticks and prawns (o), diced
- 1 packet/can of straw mushrooms (o), cut to about 1 inch long
- 3-4 chinese mushrooms, soaked and sliced
- Shredded carrot
- Water
- Fish sauce
- Oyster sauce
- Corn starch

(o) denotes optional ingredients


*** Dumping Everything Together

- Dump the chicken into a pot of boiling water. Boil until it gets cooked.

Can use the steam to steam your face. Easier to squeeze blackheads later. Muahahahaha!!!

- Put the glass noodles into the bowl.

Remember to remove the string that ties it together. Unless you like the taste in which case I shall not be responsible if you get hospitalised after trying this recipe. Wait! I am not responsible even if you remove the string and still get hospitalised.

- Pour boiling water into the bowl to cook the noodles. Drain the water and cut the noodles 4-5 times with the scissors.

- Remove the chicken lumps from the pot. Keep the liquid in the pot.

Spot the chicken kidney!

- Allow the lumps to cool before shredding.

- Add glass noodles to the pot of chicken stock.

The chicken lumps should already be cooling in a bowl, not still boiling in the pot. Hmmm...

- Throw in the seafood and straw mushrooms.

Expensive dish! You can omit the prawns if you want to.

-Throw in the chinese mushrooms, shredded carrot, and shredded chicken.

After this the carrot will turn the soup orange but do not panic. By the way, I read that too much carrot is not good for pregnant women. Got to take care of the lump!

- Season the stock with oyster sauce and fish sauce.

This is the hard part. You need to taste the soup to determine how much to add for each. I cannot tell you the quantity because like most great chefs, I use my perfect estimation. :P

- After everything is boiled and cooked, add about a tablespoon of corn starch into a bowl and mix with water. Stir to dissolve lumps.

- Pouring slowly, add the corn starch mixture to the soup in the pot, stirring as you go. This thickens the soup, giving it the perfect imitation look.

- Beat the egg in a bowl.

- Pour about half the egg into the pot and allow to sit on the surface of the soup for 30 seconds. Do not stir! I did this the first time I cooked this and it tasted like egg soup. You don't want the cheapest ingredient to be the center of the taste!

- Repeat with the remaining half of the egg. After 30 seconds, stir the soup to spread the egg.

- Take out a huge bowl because you are going to need it.

*** Ta-da!!!

Enjoy the goodness of shark's fins soup without the shark bleeding to death!

Super nice, can?!?!?!

Red gold

I have no words. I am without words.

I have finger though.

Claws

"Don't buy the fat, rounded pen! Slimmer pens are better!"

Mum once said that to me. At that time, I wondered why. Slim pens are hard to hold. My nails would dig into the flesh of my palm. Not exactly a pain-free experience.

I realised that my fingers sometimes seem too long that I need to twist them weirdly around pens and chopsticks.

More than one claw here! The uncooked one looks more awkward.

Maybe I'm just imagining that I have long fingers. Any finger that does its work is a good finger. Which finger do you think is the most important? Index finger to point and laugh, middle finger to point and get bashed, ring finger to wear a ring (duh), pinkie to dig nose and ears, and thumb to show appreciation.

They are all useful it seems.

The empty club and the new motorhome

Ah, clubbing. Do you like clubs that are full and happening, or empty and unhappening? I like the latter. A club that looks like this

Suits me fine!

What do you think contributes to an enjoyable clubbing experience?
a) Crowd
b) Company
c) Music
d) Ambience
e) "Cool" factor of the club
f) Mood
g) Cheap booze
h) Availability of potential eye-candy

I think Mood is most important. If not in the mood, all the other factors doesn't matter at all right! If in the right mood, go to an empty club also can have lots of fun! In fact, empty clubs are the best! You get all the space without having the elbow anyone. Twirling, skipping, hopping, jumping, running, giggling, waving your arms like a mad woman - all with nary a care of causing serious groin injuries to others!

After our empty club clubbing experience, where we saw a guy trying very hard to look cool while prancing around a girl and gyrating wildly, sweating buckets in his suit (who wears a jacket to club throughout anyway!), we went home in a cab to find the true meaning of "moving house".

1am is so not the time to travel in a cab.

As the house moved, our cab fare moved faster.

Cabbie told us that this project would cost $30k. We wondered very long why somebody would want to move house, literally. Hmmm...

What meat has a strong smell and starts with "m" and ends with "n"?

It is the meat of

a) Goat
b) Sheep
C) Lamb
D) All of the above
E) None of the above

I'm no longer a couch potato!

On this land, you get a holiday to attend Ekka. Since I have already gone there, we spent an afternoon watching Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. That's my daily highlight; I actually wake up to watch it. I don't think it's shown in Singapore. Wasted because it's hilarious!

Another afternoon of potentially spending all my time in front of the TV. This is really bad especially if you have such lovely housemates who attempted to clot up your arteries with this

Can you resist this?

In a stroke of genius, I suggested that we go to the playground instead of waiting for Mr Huey to show us how to cook! The playground is cute! I think it's actually quite tiring to play the playground. Remember when you were young and all you wanted to do was to be at the playground, sliding, swinging, riding, and going up and down? Hmm... I think some adults want to do that too, not necessarily with the equipment available though. Muahahahaha! Don't get caught people!

Sadly, being a holiday, it means that there are lots of people around, people to point and laugh at our childishness. Who cares! Bah! :P I want to play see-saw!

Don't let this fool you. It's more strenuous than it looks! You have to 'giap' (grip) the tiny seat with your legs and hold on for dear life. Exciting!

When I was young, all I ever wanted to do was feel the wind in my hair as I played on the swing. That's the best part, right!

We didn't have the luxury of playing these. Simply not enough space in Singapore.

But the playground is not enough, we have to go to the river! From our house, we get the river view, which many visitors proclaimed to be excellent and value for money (our rent is relatively cheap). But after a while, you stop noticing the view and with the endless renovations, you don't really feel like going out to the balcony anyway. Oh, did I mention there's a suana and pool too? *shows off*

Anyway, we went to walk river. Australians have healthy lifestyles. There are many cyclists (all have to wear helmuts) and joggers. Us? We are walkers! The view is too nice to just whiz through. Ok lah... Excuse for not liking to run. Why make yourself breatheless? Besides, the air here is very dry and your throat will be parched after 2 minutes. Not cool to die eh?

Can you see the blue ferry? CityCat is the public ferry.

We saw wriggly clouds today too. Sunset is the best!

Next time, I shall only watch Queer Eye and start moving around in the afternoon! Maybe I will go snatch the swings and be the playground bully! :D

Ekka 2006 (Fresh animals, fresh showbags, fresh choking hot mustard)

I got for this post!

Ekka is the annual festival in Queensland that celebrates animals, games, vegetables, dairy, food, cultures, fireworks, and choking hot mustard.

This year, we didn't catch the fireworks or the performances because we are old ladies needing our rest after a whole day of walking. I saw them last year and fireworks just ain't my thing, baby. It's pretty and all but I don't think I go ga-ga over it. Maybe if I am viewing the sparkling with someone special, sharing a kiss under the blazing skies... Hmm... Nah!

We took the train to the showgrounds, which is about 15 minutes from our house. Golly! It was crowded. I'm glad we bought our entry ticket at the train station. Saved us lots of time. It costs $18 for the daily train ticket and the entry to Ekka. This year Ekka seems to be slightly smaller than last year, probably because the very first things I saw last year, acrobats and a pub, were not around this year.

First stop was to Woolsworth's Fresh Food pavilion for the 10+++ rated chilli. I tried this last year and thanked my lucky moon that I wasn't too greedy with the quantity. It's those hot-until-your-ears-get-numb-and-you-keep-salivating kind of hot. Good for digestion and probably just as good for getting stomach uclers in the long run. Neverthless, please try! One stall offered a ginger drink, which was surprisingly good. This is the place where the aunties get very excited! 'Buy 3 at the price of 2!' 'Free recipe book with every $20 purchase!' Woohoo!!!

Highlight of the Ekka is the showbags, according to kids. These are plastic bags filled with different things, mainly gimmicks that make you purchase more, more, more, more, and more! Months prior to the festival, the website already informs you of the showbags that will be available for purchase. I think Australian kids are really fortunate! I see many of them with bags and bags of toys, lollies, and games. Gosh! I only bear to part with a tiny amount of money to get one or two things. Ok, make that four things.

My four things: Freddo chocolates with frog/lizard stuffed toy ($5), devil's horns ($3), piglet's ears ($2), and Spongebob Squarepants ($7.50). I have a feeling the frog/lizard toy will take the place of 黄熊熊 as my new blogllaborator. Hmm...

This is what the showbag pavilion looks like.

You think it looks crowded? Wait till you see the mad last minute shopping! Twice as many people I think! One of the traditions at Ekka is the strawberry sundaes. At $3.50, you get a sundae filled with strawberry ice-cream, cream, and strawberries! Besides, you are doing a good deed because part (?) of the proceeds goes to a charity for children. This is a good excuse to buy and eat more! It's for a good cause! +_+

I think we went in and out of the showbag pavilion many, many times. 'Should I get this, or should I get that, or both?' Choices, choices. Shopping is tough, darlings! Even D succumbed to the charms of Chicken Little with his bug friend. The wonders of toys!

There's an area for rides. There were some new rides but we didn't take any. Expensive! This year, we also wised up and decided not to challenge the games stalls. Simply have no aim for throwing! Literally. Throwing ball at bottles and throwing money down the drain. Geddit???!!!

The act-devil and princess-wannabe go to Ekka.

We went to the Meating Place to see meat too. Real meat looks so different from the cuts we get from markets.

They have competition for meat. I wonder how they judge them. Do you think some people will become vegetarian after seeing this? Not me though. x:

As with last year, there's an International Food Village. I think the most popular stall was Satae House, which serves Indonesian and Malaysian cuisine. Yum! I like! We saw a topless ah pek who drew a face on his substantial stomach and put a cigarette into his belly button. Hmmm.... Sexy...

I think Ekka started off as an event for farmers to show off their produce and evolves to a huge festival today. It's sad, however, that they did not provide a history page at its website, telling us what it originally celebrated. Would be an interesting bit of information for showing off in front of the date.

Do you like dogs? If you do, there are tons of dog shows! We caught those for Cavalier King Charles Spaniels and German Shepherds. I saw a German Shepherd that was all black. Looks amazing! Don't you think that all German Shepherds look like males? Female German Shepherds sound very, very wrong. Lol...

Regal breed? Named a king wor! Prince Charles will look like that?

I prefer big dogs that look like they can rip strangers apart at the click of my fingers. Woohoo!

But I think I still prefer dogs that look like their faces are smashed up, flattened. Like pugs or bulldogs. Muahahaha! We saw a pug that looked like its owner, an old man of about 50 with wrinkles in the same places. I think I don't want any pets; don't want to look like an animal, though I may be quite a bitch. Muahahahahahahaha!!! Geddit??? Bitch = female dog! Right...

These are where the bitches dogs were kept before their competitions. Much like the cubicles soccer players have in their locker rooms. A personal space for you to think your doggy thoughts.

When I was young, I remember looking at Strawberry Shortcake and thinking she's a fake because I have never seen cupcakes that nice.

But these are so adorable! At $3 a pop though... Expensive cakes! I bake for you, you want?

Maybe these ladies were trying to be the adult version of Strawberry Shortcake?

Got 'front', got 'back' wor...

Check out this clip of their performance. Source. I seriously have no idea what they were doing. Their hair look like candy floss though. Yum!

There are pros and cons about going to Ekka on a Saturday. The pros are that being a Saturday, there are more shows to see. More people visit the event, making for a more festive feel. What's a festival without people? Because the venue is huge, and because it is still winter, there is enough space to breathe.

On the other hand, the crowd meant that, like us, you might be too tired to visit some of the exhibits, such as the baby animals. It also took longer to find seats at eating places. We were waiting for a table at the International Food area when this group of people stood near us, holding their food. One of the women took a step closer to the table we were waiting for. Being the polite people we were, we had stood slightly apart to allow the seated patrons their space. When I saw that, I took a step nearer, hoping that it would be clear to the woman that we were waiting. However, as one of the ladies stood up from her chair, the woman moved in to sit down. I found that incredible. Before she could sit down, I approached her, rather politely.

Me: Sorry. We are waiting for this table.
Her friend: Wah! Mai ho lang cei?

YOOHOO??!!! Don't you have eyes? We were there first and I politely told you we were waiting. When would it be your turn to take OUR table? Rude, inconsiderate, and self-righteous! Furthermore, the woman could have told her friend that we were there first, which she didn't. Bah! Think you can speak Hokkien and we can't? We have two versions of Hokkien there somemore. Pah!

At the fruits and vegetables pavilion, we were reminded that we have to eat 5 serves of vegetables and 3 serves of fruits daily. That's a lot, isn't it? D and P tried custard apple, which they insisted were soursops. Are they the same? One looks like this

Soursop

And the other looks like this

Custard apple

They look and taste quite different to me! Hmm... Anyway, remember kids, fruits and vegetables are good for you!

I like! Makes you shit well!

Mr Scareleton will tell you so too!

The fruits and vegetables beside Mr Scareleton also move!

You also get to enjoy shows from cowboys, see horses rolling on their backs like dogs asking for a scratch, and rams with curly horns. Camels, llamas, goats, cows, pigs, cats, mice, hamsters, poultry, fish, bees, and birds. I read that albino animals can hardly survive in the wild because of their colour. I wonder how the birds below can survive in the wild, being as vibrant as they are. Maybe their colours allow them to attract more mates, hence being able to propagate more frequently, expanding their population no matter how easily preyed upon they may be. Hmm...

I hope they are not going mad.

There are also other kinds of exhibits, such as those of art and craft, quilts, baked goods (very mean of the sponsors, to tempt us like that), cars, technology, and electronics. When you see the winning entries from the bakery, you cannot help but feel a sense of dissatisfaction at the pastries, cakes, and breads you get. HOW COME MY BREAD IS NOT AS SOFT AS THE FIRST PRIZE WINNER?! WHY ISN'T MY CAKE AS NICELY DECORATED AS THE BEST AT EKKA? NOT FAIR!!! *drool* Please do not go and view the baked goods on an empty stomach. You will feel an undeniable urge to break the glass and grab the cakes, breads, and pastries. *shivers uncontrollably*

You also get to see carriages from the days of yore.

If there is only one ride you can afford and if you do not have a lot of baggage, take the ski-lift. At $5.50, you have an awesome, freezing cold, and exciting view of the whole showground. I suggested that we take the ride at evening, because the shows in the field would be starting, the lights from the rides would be on, you would get the evening sky with all its marvellous colours, and the blazing, cancer-causing sun would have set.

Exciting because you do not get much of a safety harness. There's just a metal bar across the seat. That's why we were holding on for our dear lives.

The setting sun makes for a very romantic erm... setting. For couples, that is. Not a good place to piss someone off though.

After the ride, we went and got the ultimate carnival food, Dagwood Dog! It's a hotdog surrounded by a layer of batter and fried in vegetable oil (or so they claimed). When you order it, they will dip the top of the dog into a pot of tomato sauce. It would have been better if we did not gei kiang and poured hot mustard over it. Hot mustard that tastes like wasabi and Dagwood Dog do not mix. No, they do not mix at all. Pui!

As the night got colder, we relied on Piglet's ears to keep us warm. Too bad our ears are at the side of our heads, as opposed to the top. Pray forgive the act-cute pose. Ekka is liberating like that. Most people wear some kind of headgear.

Like the kiasu we are, we hopped on the train home before the fireworks-watching crowd descended upon us. No crowds please.

Just me and my toys!

Leaving the train at Central Station, we thought to make a detour to Cesars for drinks at $2.50 a pop. 200m from the station, I remember no nightclub opens at 7.45pm. Muahahahahahahahahaha!!! Home in time for Crocodile Dundee at 8.30 then!

***

Do you think Singapore should have a festival like Ekka? P and I were wondering about this. What do you think a Singapore festival should celebrate? Our diversity definitely. What should it be like? There is hardly a documented 'Singapore' identity, though many have been quick to brand Singaporeans as the kiasu lot. I think if we have such a festival, we should also have showbags from the different ethnic groups. For these, we have to show cultural understanding, letting people know if the food contains animal produce, pork, beef, etc.

Food is a MUST because what would Singapore be without its food? Performances from all different ethnic groups would be fantastic. How many different kinds to include depends on the level of interest. There should be performances not just by the three main ethnic groups but also those from surrounding countries. Good for diplomatic ties and mutual understanding.

We can have things we are proud of to be on display. Competitions for the spiciest Indian curry, the most exquisite dim sum, the lowest fat hokkien mee, the most fragrant mee soto. We can also have competitions for things we are proud of, or rather, should be proud of. The student who can memorise the most things, the yuppie who can pick up the most number of girls, the retail staff who can come up with the rudest retort. Lol! Kidding! What we should award people for are their contribution to Singapore. In fact, I think one thing Singaporeans should be really proud of is Singlish. When you are overseas and you hear a familiar 'Wah lao!', you know you are in the company of a fellow countryman.

What should this festival be named?

'Lor lah leh!' sounds good. :D

Saccharinometer?

You know when you drink juices from the carton and they always taste the same if you buy the same brand? Have you ever wondered how come they taste the same if no two fruits taste the same? Orange A is sweeter than Orange B but is also more sour?

How do the manufacturers make their juices the same, especially if there's 'no added sugar'? Big puzzle!

Who do you love most?

Went to Ekka today!!! Woohoo!!! Walked whole day, man!

We are all friend at the Ekka!

Too tired now! For more details, come back and visit! Now, just entertain yourselves with old news of Ekka 2005!

Byron Bay (again!)

Not long ago, we went to Byron Bay, in New South Wales, Australia. A few days later, P and S rented a car and brought JY and me to Mount Coot-tha.

As we laid there looking into the night, freezing our butts off and looking at the nth shooting star, I made a suggestion.

Me: Since you only need to return the car tomorrow, why don't we drive to Byron Bay to see sunrise?

2 hours later, we found ourselves back in the car, with sandwiches in the boot, on Pacific Highway again. It was 12am and the ride at most, will take 3 hours. What time do you think the sun rises? Of course not at 3am. No worries, mate! Let's just hit the road.

We played my hurriedly burnt disc of songs for the trip. Some random selections with limited ballads and tons of beaty songs (hip hop, r&b, pop) to keep the driver awake. I think Wang Lee Hom's 唯一 was our theme song for the trip. There's something amazing about being the only car on the road, listening and slaugtering Lee Hom's song while staring at the stars in the cloudless sky. That feeling of being the tiniest being on earth because you can appreciate the vastness of the land.

It was pitch black when we reached Byron Bay lighthouse 1 hour and 40 minutes later.

Look ma! It's pacmoon!

Breathtakingly scary it was! All dark except for the lights from the lighthouse. You can hardly tell the difference between the sea and the sky. The moon was indeed very bright, as the stars twinkled beside it. Light from the moon reflected on the surface of the sea, making for an eery sight that is, at the same time, a reminder of the grandeur of nature. I wondered, morbidly, if anyone had ever fallen from the cliff and was instantly swallowed by the whipping seas. Must have hurt.

What do you see?

After hanging around the area for a while, we got back into the car. It was freezing cold. Imagine the wind howling in your face. Brrr... I feel cold thinking of it now. In the car, we somehow managed to convince ourselves to play the most excruciating aeroplane game. This time though, it was 3 Singaporeans vs a Malaysian! Muahahaha! But about 1 hour later, at 3.30am or so, driver said want to sleep. So we slept. Rather, they slept while I was on self-imposed sentry. I'm considerate like that.

The sky turned a little brighter. I hope it's not like that time at East Coast Park where we were waiting for the 'sunrise' and the sky just got brighter and brighter until we realised the sun was behind us. Ah well... You can see the lone star in the photo as well. Star, ah star! How do you feel, all alone in the sky?

The waves make a very nice pattern on the most easternly side of mainland Australia. If you want to see a clip showing the waves, drop me a line because it's 10mb and would be too much work to upload if no one is interested! +_+

The lighthouse. I like the sky, like the colour pencil combination: pink and blue.

The salted egg made its appearance.

It got bigger...

And brighter...

And brighter...

Bathing everyone in its glow...

What will we do without the sun?

If you die, this will still happen everyday.

Enjoy the sharp rays from the sun. You can see how fast it rises.

Enjoy the waves and beaches!

Take more photos!

I really was there!

Seeing the sunrise at a vast place like this is highly recommended for city kids. You know how insignificant you really are! Humbling experience.